The Gazz-Man Shares 25 Things That You May Not Know About Him. Yeah, and maybe DON’T wanna know about him. But you’re getting them anyway. Too bad!
I was at the blog of Michel Fortin the other day and saw a really interesting idea he had about listing 25 strange, weird or bizarre things about yourself that OTHER people may find amusing or interesting. He said somebody had started this on Facebook or somewhere and had “tagged” him. I kinda made an association of this with Garry Parkes’ brilliant thread on overcoming challenges and thought I’d give it a go.
The so-called “rules” state that you also have to tag 5 people to get them to follow suit. I really liked the idea. According to others, I’m a strange, weird and bizarre person, so I thought I would give it a try. Here goes:
1 – I am a control freak. Freak being the operative word. Yep. It’s my way or the highway. Why? Because I have systems and controls for everything and I record everything and unless you have a better way – which I sincerely doubt – then you do it my way.
2 – My favourite TV serial show was Dallas. Oh, I just used to love it when Pamela Ewing (Victoria Principal) would look with those big almond shaped eyes at her husband Bobby Ewing (Patrick Duffy) and say, “Oh… Bobby, I love you Bobby!” Only my hearing wasn’t all that flash. Instead of “Bobby” I heard “Gary”. And I would drool and have these amazing dreams and I think I’ll stop right about there…
3 – Since I am on the subject of women – I have always adored the screen presence of Catherine Bell and when she was in that show JAG, I just used to marvel at how that tight shirt she wore fitted every contour of that marvelous body. I would always say, “That CANNOT be an off the rack (pun intended) shirt. It has to be custom made.” Whew! I also think that Australian, former Miss Universe, Jennifer Hawkins is one of the most naturally beautiful looking women in the world. I do admire the female form. (sleaze comments)
4 – I am incredibly pedantic. I have mentioned several times in my blog posts that I am a perfectionist and that it is one of my greatest strengths but, on the other side of the coin, one of my greatest weaknesses. This sits hand in hand with point 1 above and it is a dangerous combination for any person to have. You wouldn’t want me for a boss. Hell, I don’t even like me as a boss. I have been self-employed for many years. No-one else can handle me anyway.
5 – Speaking of danger. This is something that I am normally loathe to speak of for fear of the chronic reactions it usually gets. I am a karate black belt. Not only that, I am a very senior karate black belt of some 40 years training. I train EVERY day – without fail – and I have reached the lofty level of 7th Dan black belt. I have also been awarded the title of Kyoshi (pronounced “Key-oshi,”) which means Master of Masters. Pretty much, in layman’s terms, that means I am a serious ass-kicker (see PS below – no further correspondence entered into. That’s it. I said it.).
6 – Moving on from that, I was once the body-guard of Tom Jones for his Perth performances. But that was way back in 1985. I have also performed body-guard services for other international, national and local performers. But I don’t or, more correctly, won’t do it anymore. It’s crap.
7 – I love my puppalitos – my dogs. Every morning I lay on the floor and cuddle them and let them lick the sides of my face and ears. That’s pretty gross considering they have probably spent half the night licking their asses and wee-wee’s. Hmm, maybe I should stop this. But I love them too much. They are my little buddies and they sit under both my office desks and follow me everywhere. Incidentally, they are females. I think that makes it marginally better, but not much.
8 – I have the weirdest sense of humour. I have word association problems that nobody else even understands. So I can rattle off half a dozen puns or jokes that nobody else laughs at coz they just don’t “get it” – even when I explain it – and then they don’t give a crap anyway and I think that is even funnier. Bizzare.
9 – I am prone to amazing, fantasmagorical, rants and when I am on one people just sigh and find reasons to go somewhere else until I settle down. This sometimes erupts in my writing where I can micro-rant, mini-rant, completely rant, sermonize or even pontificate if I feel strongly enough about something I am passionate about. Or angry about.
10 – I love to read books and usually devour a couple of novels per week, though not lately – LOL! I have a massive library that contains not only novels but also hundreds and hundreds of technical books and motivational books. Back to pendantic for a second. I initial the last page of every novel, date it and assign it a score from 1 to 10, according to how much I liked it. I know… anal.
11 – I have also written many books. I have over a dozen e-books and manuals that I have written. Plus many more partially completed. I have also completed a 200,000 word crime thriller, as yet unpublished.
12 – I like chocolate. I also like eggs but I don’t like beetroot. And you can beat an egg but… ( I am so naughty!)
13 – I am an absolute exercise nut and like nothing better than to sweat like a pig during and after aerobic and weights training.
14 – I once met Chuck Norris at a karate studio. He is a lot smaller than me but that’s not too difficult as I stand at just under six feet and weigh around 265 pounds. I should be in the WWE.
15 – Speaking of which… I love watching the World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) events and the madcap gimmicks that these incredibly talented people get up to. This is a fantastic study in branding. If you want a lesson in branding your material then go there. My favourite “personality” wrestler is, or was, “The Rock.” He is a laugh a second that guy. So bloody funny. My favourite “technical” wrestler is Bret “the Hit-Man” Hart.
16 – I hate text messaging and only just tolerate Twitter, which I think is one of the dopiest names ever invented. Twitter! DUH! In fact double duh!
17 – I have never used an Automatic Teller Machine and never will. I think they are crap too.
18 – My best friend, my first sensei (karate teacher), Warren King, was killed in a motor cycle crash in 1980. At that time, he and I were having a blazing disagreement over something really stupid and I told him to go and “get effed.” I have never forgiven myself for that coz I never got to tell him how sorry I was for saying it. Even almost 30 years on, I think of him all the time and hope that his spirit is soaring. His teaching lives on in me. When I die, the first thing I’m gonna do is find him and tell him how sorry I am.
19 – I am a terrible practical joker. I hide things on people and then, when they have been driven crazy with frustration looking for them, I replace them while they are not looking. I also change people’s book marks – all that sort of sh*t. I know it is childish but I love doing it.
20 – I value true friendship above all else.
21 – I am rarely motivated by money alone. There needs to be another carrot to get me interested. In many ways I am a lone-wolf. Although my favourite animal, without doubt, is the tiger.
22 – I am a complete bastard to engage in word debates (Or maths debates, for that matter). I can pull words out of my arse that most people have never even heard of. I also contort and conjoin words and generally murder the English language if it suits my purpose to do so. But most times I try to write very correctly and in good syntax. When I am on a roll, I can easily produce 5,000 to 10,000 words in one sitting. My ACTION Planner e-book was written in 5 hours flat. That is 72 pages.
23 – I am relentlessly ruthless when I am chasing something that I want. For instance, after major surgery to correct an injury I performed 330,000 specific exercises to strengthen the limb and yes – I charted and documented every one of them.
24 – I was a weakling as a kid – a real milksop “Mummy’s boy” who used to get the snot and sh*t beaten out of him on a regular basis coz I was small and a late developer. My family wasn’t wealthy so I made a set of weights out of some old jam tins filled with rocks and cement, with a metal bar running through the middle. As I got bigger and stronger I used to wire bricks to each side for extra weight. When guys would hit me they would hurt themselves. Then it was my turn. LOL!
25 – I am a collector of samurai swords and ancient Japanese and Okinawan weapons of war. Collectors of this weird stuff are called hoplologists. So, I guess I am a hoplologist.
26 – I think the best rock group the world has ever seen is Slade and, IMHO, Noddy Holder (lead singer) has the greatest rock voice of all time. I also like Wizzard, CCR, ELP, ELO, Carolyn Mas, Judith Durham, Yanni, and, of course, the old hound dog himself, Elvis. I have visited Graceland and stood at the foot of the grave of the great man. Then I went mad and spent about $400 on trinkets and mementos. Lisa Marie Presley must love me. I also like many other bands and singers – too numerous to list here. Oh, and I adore Phyllis Nelson’s version of “Move Closer” (see my music and lyrics thread)
I know I said it was 25 but I break the rules on everything. Think of it as a “bonus,” or maybe further torture – LOL!
My tags are Mark (Mr Smarty-Pants) Austin, Thom Swartwood, Denis Caron, Nikki Stephens (I can hardly wait for this!), Garry Parkes, Renee Olsen, Hilary Dickinson, Harry (Hazzard) Harris, Paul Hamilton and (she will hate me for this – but I don’t care – tee-hee) Linda Caroll.
Yeah, I can’t count either. I know the rules said five but, remember, I break the rules on everything. Go to it folks – whang your list of 25 on your blog then come back here and tell us when you have done it. If you don’t wanna do it then that’s OK… Scaredy-bear.

PS: If anyone wants to ask me about any of this then I’m happy to talk about anything except number 5 and if anyone uses that title (it is only relevant in the circles in which I move) then I’ll let Bad-Gary loose. The only reason I even included it was because those bloody RSS feeders are displaying me all over the bloody place and I have no way of getting the damn pictures and info back. Curse those damn things! That is as much as I will say on the matter.
PPS: Just for the record, various family members and a close friend helped me compose this stupid list in about five minutes. They could have gone on to 50 because of my quirkiness in so many things but we let it drop at 30 and I cut it back to what you see here. If you wanna do a list then try that.
MISSION COMPLETE FOR:
- Linda Caroll
- Hilary Dickinson
- Renee Olson
- Paull Hamilton
- Nikki Stephens
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