Zen Garden > Funny Jokes 1

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The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews, and testing were done, there were three finalists... two men and a woman.

For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

"We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. "Kill Her!!!"

The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife."

The agent said, "Then you're not right for this job. Take your wife and go home."

The second man was given the same instructions.

He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."

The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was instructed to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room.

Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls.

After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the perspiration from her brow.

"This gun is loaded with blanks", she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."

01 - "Hospital Mortality Mystery" - Author Unknown

There was a case in one hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed on Sunday morning, at about 11a.m. regardless of their medical condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11 a.m. on Sundays.

So a world-wide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents. The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11a.m., all doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits.

Just when the clock struck 11... Pookie Johnson, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so that he could use the vacuum cleaner.

Gary Simpson is a 7th Dan karate master who teaches self defense, motivation, self help and wealth building to students around the world through home study courses. You may reprint this article as you include this author credit and an active link to his web site. Finance - Self Help - Motivation - Self Defense - Personal Growth MotivationSelfEsteem.com