Zen Garden > How to Develop the Awesome Power of Getting Other People to Co-operate With You

Getting along with other people is an art. Like all arts, the more you practice it the more skillful you will become. Learn how to do it here...

Try this. Ask somebody to raise both arms so that they can touch the palms of their hands against yours. Don't worry about explaining anything to them. Tell them it is an experiment if you like.

Now you are facing the other person, you both have your arms raised and are "palm to palm." Start pushing. What happens? What does the other person do? Do it. The outcome is 100% predictable.

So, why, when you are seeking co-operation with another person should you be confronting to them? It doesn't make sense when you see it in this light, does it? What is your 100% predictable response when somebody starts forcing his or her wishes onto you?

Let's use an example. Do you say to your partner: "I want a cup of tea!"? Or, would it be better to say something like: "Darling, I'm really busy at the moment. I'd really like a cup of tea if you have the time to make it."

What does the second approach convey to your partner?

Conversely, what does the first approach convey?

It is far easier to attract bees to pollen than it is to gasoline.

Look at your language. When you desire somebody to do something for you do you sound like a military commander? What sort of body language do you use?

The easiest way to get co-operation from other people is to place yourself in their position. How would you like to be approached? How do you react to "orders?"

People are reluctant to respond favorably to orders, unless, of course, they are in the armed forces. But that is a different matter.

Governments, banks, insurance companies, lawyers, courts, politicians and employers all issue orders. How do most people react? They become defensive, unco-operative, resentful and at times, hostile.

Can you now see the awesome power of getting other people to co-operate with you with a willing heart? Might you now make a concentrated effort to couch your requests in terms that they find palatable?

Yes, this is an art. But like all arts, the more you practice it the more skillful you will become. Try it. You will be amazed at how co-operative people will become.

Gary Simpson is a 7th Dan karate master who teaches self defense, motivation, self help and wealth building to students around the world through home study courses. You may reprint this article as you include this author credit and an active link to his web site. Finance - Self Help - Motivation - Self Defense - Personal Growth MotivationSelfEsteem.com