75 Responses to Internet Marketing – A Cry For Help

1. Allen
   April 3rd, 2010 at 6:20 am

   Gary,

   Why do you post such worthless crap on your blog. I just wasted 10 minutes reading it. I will never get those 10 minutes back.

   Just kidding. Great stuff, Gazz. Be careful… underneath that rough exterior, your sensitive side is showing.

   I have heard you complain many times about the people giving you sh*t comments and unsubscribing, but this is the first time I have heard you have any compassion for them.

   Maybe God, in his mysterious ways, sent this guy to you to tell you to lighten up and have mercy.

2. Kevin Hyatt
   April 3rd, 2010 at 6:28 am

   This is a very inspiring post Gary, thanks for sharing.

   I hope this guy comes out a better person because of this..

   I too have been through hard times, we all have.
   “What does not kill you only makes you stronger.”

   We just need to forget about what we don’t have, forget about what we’ve lost or left behind, and just look forward to what we do have, look forward to tomorrow and all of tomorrow’s infinite possibilities.

   Regards,

   Kevin Hyatt

3. Gary
   April 3rd, 2010 at 6:39 am

   @ Allen – amusing opening sentence. I am actually a very compassionate man. The tough guy stuff is most often just to protect myself from being taken advantage of. [Telling secrets now - LOL]. If you only knew the things I do for people behind-the-scenes. That is why I feel it is completely unfair for people like “Mike” to say such things.

   @ Kevin – Great sentiments there Kevin. I hope that “Mike” comes out of this dark tunnel into the light too. Like you say – many of us have been there. I really hope that an email from me on the other side of the world and who doesn’t know him or have any vested interest in taking anything from him will HELP him.

   Thanks for taking the time to add your comments Allen and Kevin.

   Gary

4. Steve Lorenzo SEOVirtuoso
   April 3rd, 2010 at 6:42 am

   Gary,

   I read all this with a lot of interest…as it happened to me too, one way or another.

   I do things just like you do; trying to help my audience – that’s how I look at people on my list – with free information whenever I can, using my own resources or other marketers’.

   However, a ‘lady’ called me once an “affiliate whore” after sending her only three emails – the first one (thank you for subscribing, here’s your download link type) a second one that was just reminding her of the subscription and the third one, which was my declaration to her that I will only show her good info that I trust and tested myself first… Go figure! All free stuff, no paid promotion or anything similar.

   I was really frustrated to see that; you can easily imagine, I think…

   But I did take the time to answer to her angry email, just as you did.

   I believe we all have to learn something from our experiences.
   Both of us: we – the marketers – and our audiences – the wishing-to-become-marketers – who’d read our emails.

   Unfortunately, I couldn’t convince her of her wrong mindset probably lacking your brilliant ability to play with English words, as I am not a native speaker.

   But I did my best to do so and I chose to send her a link to a video on YouTube that I found myself so very inspiring whenever I felt beaten by life events and needed a ‘hand’ to help me out of the bad mood.

   If this guy can do all he does, then I MUST be able to do everything I put up to in my mind.

   You may leave the link live or not, but if you do, here it is: my most self-inspirational video ever (4’:30”)

   If Nick is able to say:

   “I LOVE living life… I AM happy!”
   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LtCrlXdd2E

   …then I have no other choice than be even happier.

   Steve Lorenzo SEOVirtuoso
   Helping YOU To Get Found!
   http://SmartVideoTips.com

5. Singing Steve Bermann
   April 3rd, 2010 at 7:00 am

   I’m really worried Gary. Not about Mike, but about the model you chose to be for me and us other marketers. You’re setting a bad example for us to live up to your compassionate heart and on the internet – really…

   This is an excellent example of going out of your way to not just create two way communications (as we know the internet can be one to many communications – not one on one) but to attempt to help another human being in their time of need.

   It’s also a very intelligent thing to have placed this on your blog.

   I usually don’t respond to negative comments I receive, but I have started to…is this an example of the care and feeding of our list?

   That’s really hard work man. To feed a soul from a keyboard. But then great writers always feed the soul from the pen or printing press or the keyboard. Healing and inspiring words will always attract attention.

   Cudos man.

6. Gary
   April 3rd, 2010 at 7:04 am

   Thanks Steve,

   First, thanks for your compliment about my writing. I have to say that you do just fine expressing yourself.

   That lady who called you “affiliate whore” (how charming) was also just venting her frustration, I believe. The ones who are the most abusive are most often the most frustrated. But they just don’t GET IT! As I have been known to say many times – you can attract a lot more with a drop of honey than a gallon of vinegar.

   Thanks for taking the time to come here and make your post.

   Gary

   PS: I have Nick’s video on my blog here. It was one of the least commented posts here. I think I know why too. People were just too stunned to say anything. That guy is a LEGEND! He makes those of us with two strong arms and legs look feeble in comparison. Such an inspiration. Thanks for reminding me.

7. Gary
   April 3rd, 2010 at 7:07 am

   Hi Singing Steve,

   Thanks for your comments. Regarding helping people remotely:

   “That’s really hard work man. To feed a soul from a keyboard. But then great writers always feed the soul from the pen or printing press or the keyboard. Healing and inspiring words will always attract attention.”

   That is what I hope to do – INSPIRE people to go on and be all they can be. In so many ways my “Power of Choice” e-book story has done just that. At last count it had been downloaded into over 40 countries.

   In many ways this is what attracts me to the Internet – getting messages and stories of hope out to as many people as I can. The Internet facilitates that. If only more would listen and travel just a few steps at a time to make the journey. It’s frustrating. You can thrust a map of a mind treasure at people and yet… will they look at it? So many will not, thinking it’s a trap. How deluded they are. Sad.

   Gary

8. Paul E McDonald
   April 3rd, 2010 at 9:52 am

   Gary,

   This was like a flash out of my own past, and your words to ‘Mike’ were very inspiring. I believe that almost all of us have gone through things like this in our past…but it’s how you choose to deal with it that truly molds us into who and what we are in life. I really enjoyed your insight that being mad at God is futile. Well said! You could have really blasted ‘Mike’ for his nasty letter, but you chose to embrace it with some great statements that made him think about himself. Again, well done!

9. Sean Beardmore
   April 3rd, 2010 at 12:19 pm

   Hey Gary,

   My first thought? Another angry guy who wants something for nothing, not prepared to work for it, wants the easy route…..would have I replied to that email? mmmmm, maybe, but probably not.

   What you did there was by no means unkind or uncalled for. What you did was make this guy’Mike’ stand up and and take another look in the mirror and I hope he takes stock of your email and makes the changes, although being angry with your current situation is the best starting point and will give Mike a strong enough reason why to change. But only he can take action.

   You have set an example by taking the time to reply to ‘Mike’, I congratulate you for that and respect you for it, but also set an example I will follow.

   Take care, talk soon!

   Sean

10. Nick Sanders
    April 3rd, 2010 at 1:46 pm

    Gary,

    Thanks for sharing your comments on your experiences with your reader. There are a lot of people in this world I suspect have the same concerns as your reader and I hope that at least one finds there way here.

    Fighting your inner demons when you are stuck in a place that your reader is in is a really hard life. Having physical ailments along with all the stresses and spiritual pain can make life unbearable most times and even harder to see what is they are doing to themselves spiritually and even harder to see a new way of living.

    I know your words will and can help anyone that actually reads your comments. READER –> Can you see how this can help yourself in life? Can you put yourself in the shoes of Gary’s reader? Even if for a moment.

    I think that your approach is very concise and clear and it screams to me that you have personally scraped the demons from the soul of your shoes.

    Your approach is one of compassion and take action. People who have not walked in our shoes and finally got sick and tired of the way our lives were unfolding will never truly understand most of your comments but those that have will see it for what it is. A general love for another human being that has lost the ability to love themselves.

    I am writing thinking of the very moment I made a decision to change my life because I was living a life where I saw no future. At that moment I reached out to the very people that I treated extremely badly and by an act of God or divine intervention they looked into their hearts and saw me for what I was – broken – defeated – spiritually ill – having the desire to accept help.

    This is what aka Mike has done, and if you are reading this KNOW that you have taken the first step to realizing that there is a problem. This is the hardest step you will ever have to take.

    Enjoy your journey aka Mike you are in for a roller coaster ride of life’s ups and downs! But you need to have the desire to believe from someone that has walked in your shoes that when you fight your demons down, and learn where your anger is stemmed from and choose to do something about it you will begin to feel a little less anger and a little bit more peace.

    This will be a unfamiliar feeling for you if you have felt anger for many years and also the severity of your anger. However, there will be a brief moment when you are breaking the walls down that you will honestly say to yourself that “I know this is working!” And that is the moment you need to hold on to, to keep you going!

    One of the thoughts that I held onto when I was in the earlier stages of my journey was: Can I honestly say that the day I was born, (if you had the intelligence) saying: “Hmmmm I think I will fill my life full of negative shit so my ultimate outcome would be where I am today?” I didn’t, and I suspect either did you.

    One last thing. Life will get better but don’t fall into the trap of the “Golden Cloud” Keep doing everything that you did to get to that point because there is a very good chance you will not feel the same way the next morning. That is the roller coaster ride and your emotions trying to sort things out!

    Thanks for sharing this Gary … It has helped me remember what it was that brought me to this point in my life! =)

    The time we spend on this earth in our present form is one that we have personally chosen and the time we spend in this form is only a hiccup in time!

11. Michael O'Reilly
    April 3rd, 2010 at 2:15 pm

    Very interesting post Gary. I hav’nt followed you much in the past but I am glad I read this and I am a better person and Internet Marketer for reading this post. So Thank You for that. One thing that comes to mind very quickly is what an awesome responsibility Internet Marketing can be and esp. when you have Thousands of subscribers that really do listen or read everything you are writing. Its an awesome power that you are using to better your corner the world.

    Way To Go Bud,
    Michael

12. Gene
    April 3rd, 2010 at 11:44 pm

    Great post and advice, Gary. I would expect nothing less from you. I think your replies to “Mike” were spot on. And credit “Mike” for being honest.

    I have had to deal with my own mess this past year and learned contentment. This has given me something I have been lacking for a while – peace. I am not desperate anymore. Things are not a lot better, but I am. You have been a source of encouragement for me. And what you said about God is pretty much true. I hope “Mike” can get over being mad at God.

    Now, contentment does not mean giving up. I will continue to try to move forward. I think learning contentment in my case is going to open the door to better things. By God’s grace I look forward.

    Thanks for sharing this.

    Gene

13. Gary
    April 4th, 2010 at 1:41 am

    @ Paul – I really liked what you said here:

    [snip]“…it’s how you choose to deal with it that truly molds us into who and what we are in life.”[snip]

    I also believe that. Very strongly.

    Indeed I could have blasted Mike. I have all the weapons to cut loose like that. But what would be the point? I want my words to build people, NOT cut them off at the ankles. I’m a builder of souls not a destroyer of them.

    I will admit though, it’s a bloody frustrating job trying to get people to see past their self-imposed exiles.

    Thanks for adding to the learning here Paul. I do appreciate it.

    Gary

14. Gary
    April 4th, 2010 at 1:51 am

    Hi Sean – Yes, what you said is correct that:

    “… only he can take action.”

    NOBODY can force anybody to become successful. The drive must come from within. And that is where SO MANY FAIL – no internal drive. I see so many people with so much talent who fail.

    But I think Mike has that drive. I have just received a subsequent email from him and I find it rather inspiring. I’ll share it here later – and my reply to him – just so those who are interested can follow it through and see how INTERNAL strength can and will push people forward. There is nothing that would make me happier than being the catalyst that “lights the fire” under Mike for him to go on and become all that he can be.

    Thanks for adding your valuable comments and sentiment here Sean. I appreciate it.

    Gary

15. Gary
    April 4th, 2010 at 2:08 am

    Hi Nick – Wow! I should give you a guest spot here at the TEMPLE! LOL! VERY well said mate. Nice of you to show us a glimpse of where you were at too.

    I have had to combat so much in my life too. I rarely talk about it coz that persona no longer exists. It’s been replaced by something I jokingly (but also believe) refer to as Battlestar Garylactica. That’s just me being frivolous again to break up the intensity here.

    But briefly… I was probably the weakest kid in my primary school. In fact, NOT probably – I WAS! A bloody Mummy’s boy scared of everyone. And because of that I was always getting picked on, bashed, humiliated. I was hopeless. I hated myself for being so pathetic. This went on right into high school until one day I snapped. The first week I was there I made the mistake of walking behind the boy’s gym – gang territory in a tough school. No need to explain what happened. Just think of a punching bag. After that my brain just said: “NO MORE.”

    Some brief time later, through a friend – who I GREATLY admired and still do to this day even though he passed away many years ago – I began to learn ju-jutsu. Now, some 40 years later I still train EVERY day in karate. Do you reckon that training EVERY day would make somebody any good at what they train in? LOL!

    Nick, I really liked what you said here regarding Mike:

    [SNIP]“… if you are reading this KNOW that you have taken the first step to realizing that there is a problem. This is the hardest step you will ever have to take.”[SNIP]

    CORRECT! And that is precisely why I said what I did above. Mike is at the nadir of his existence at this moment. This is where he is being tested to see what he is made of.

    Like I said – I have another email from him and I can tell that he is gonna fight back. And good on him. I will keep you all informed as this unfolds. Oh, and SOMEBODY PLEASE ask me to share the story of the butterfly with you all – and it ain’t anything to do with Butterfly Marketing either. LOL!

    Thanks Nick – classy stuff mate. I sure do appreciate you sharing all that with my readers.

    Gary

16. Gary
    April 4th, 2010 at 2:25 am

    Hi Michael – Gee mate thanks for saying this:

    [snip]“… but I am glad I read this and I am a better person and Internet Marketer for reading this post.”[snip]

    You dunno how good that makes me feel. Truly! If there is something that really floats my boat it’s being able to show people a better way of doing something – especially when it comes to the mind and thinking. Because the mind controls EVERYTHING we do and most people completely neglect it.

    I agree too – leading anybody is a great responsibility.

    Thanks Michael, I appreciate what you said very much.

    Gary

17. Gary
    April 4th, 2010 at 2:28 am

    @ Gene – I wish you well Gene. I know from the snippets you have shared in posts that you have made over at Alex Jeffreys’ forum that things have not been easy for you mate. But you have faith. I know that. Hope is such a powerful motivating force.

    And I am so glad that you have found some internal peace and contentment. More power to YOU, my friend.

    Thanks for coming here and reinforcing what I am saying. Your support is much appreciated.

    Gary

18. Roberta
    April 4th, 2010 at 7:45 am

    After being online with my cat behavior books for 5 years, I got my first angry email last year, and the guy wasn’t even on my list. It caught me off guard because I’d been “riding a wave of happy customers” (just not enough of them yet), and was quite used to generous testimonials. (He accused me of being greedy and said that if I really loved cats I would give away all my information and never try to sell any of it. Well, there is PLENTY of free info on my websites along with reports and ebooks and articles, etc.)

    Because I was so stunned, I did the “girl” thing and cried right away, but then I still felt immobilized and wanted to just quit. So, I shared that nasty email with my list and got a ton of support from everyone. Then, with their permission, I forwarded the whole lot of them to that guy, because I still didn’t feel like I could speak kindly to him. I knew that I would simply lash back at him. Several people told me to ignore him, as he wasn’t worth the effort or attention. And I suppose that is the usual way these are handled.

    But, as in your situation, I felt that something needed to be handled there.
    Although he never wrote back to me, the result was that *I* was healed.
    Now, when someone complains to me (though it’s not often) I look for the compassionate response, because I realize that for some reason, they are hurting.

    It never occurred to me that people would get mad at me for trying to help with their cats! But when you think about it (another lesson learned for me), many people need pets in their lives to fill some of the voids they may perceive in their human interactions.

    I think it’s wonderful that you shared this with all of us. I think you not only helped “Mike,” but I also believe it’s important to support yourself by sharing with your own network. It heals everyone.

    Thanks as always for another meaningful post,

    Roberta

19. Gary
    April 4th, 2010 at 10:38 am

    Hi Roberta – Thank you for adding to the conversation here about this important subject. I know how you felt. I receive quite a few comments like that mainly because a LOT of people read my blog and my subscriber list is getting pretty big.

    Along with all the wonderful people comes a fair share of nasty types who have nothing nice to say. Some also feel the need to try to wreck anything that is good – we have them in all our cities in the form of vandals and graffiti idiots. They are all out there and online is the same as offline.

    I just saw something in Mike’s lashing out at me. I knew it was unfair and I wanted to know why. I actually felt I knew why – and I was pretty spot on. So, despite what he said to me, I decided to try to help the underlying cause of his frustration and anger. I hope this has shown many other marketers the reason WHY this happens. It isn’t the marketer’s fault. It’s a fundamental fault of the flamer or abuser or critic. Sometimes it is mis-communication or even plain misunderstanding.

    Thanks for sharing your experiences Roberta.

    Gary

20. Gary
    April 4th, 2010 at 11:57 am

    Mike’s latest communication to me:

    Gary,

    There are many things in here that have touched me in many ways and for that I am thankful and for your time and energy also. I believe that it is your energy why God wanted you to contact me, the chi/energy I am lacking in and need some, which you must have alot.

    I did read the book you sent me, and was truly inspired. At the same time it depresses me, all I want is for God to accept me in his arms, but how can God when I am sick with the disease of the mind. How can I love anything when my paradigms have been programmed to hate myself, it is very demoralizing to feel the way I do right now, its like their is an evil spirit in my mind tempting me take my own life.

    Believe it or not Gary, I am on the same type of journey as yourself and this is where my anger stems as well. I just want to help people who are going through the same as me, but my lack of mental discipline and negative energy prevents me from healing the world of its pain. If you were to read the somewhat disorganized book I attempted to write then this would be clear to you, but without the life force energy or the breathe of life this book will never be what I want it to be. Be the change you want to see in the world – Gandhi said this and it makes alot of sense.

    I was hoping by writing this book I would create a new destiny for me, but keep giving up on it. I dont feel like the best of writers and my message seems muffled.

    Thank you the technique about migraines, I had a brain scan which showed up clear, I have tried everything from Niacin Flush, Osonated Water, and I try to meditate but the pain and pumping in my head distract me. I will also cut out cucumbers and tomatoes, I have never heard of this before.

    I know I have alot more than most people, I have a house I can reside in and can have a clean shower. I just feel that unless I vibrate on the higher frequency of my consiousness, i will be hard to accept these things, as greed, envy, hate and anger fuel the lower consciousness. I just feel like I am going to go mad, and do agree that I have created this mess, my own mind is disorganised and confused therefore my outer reality will reflect this.

    But how can I stay more positive, keep determined, everyday I wake up and dont have anything to do. I have no money to go anywhere or do anything, and I really want to learn Tai Chi and go to the gym but I have no money. Since loosing my friends it has made me very lonely, but I believe knowledge is something sought in soltitude. I just want any old cleaning job to pay for my own investments to better me.

    Is there anywhere I can find online a free daily plan for excercise I can do at home? I can only look for work a few hours a day, so I have alot of time on my hands. I cant think of any other way to construct my day apart from excercising, and continuing with my book.

    This tone is still not a positive one, but I have felt better since I read your book and you have a writing style at a level I admire to be like. I appreciate wise words, and inspiration and am very thankful for this little but powerful book. I am going to print it off to do the excercises at the bottom.

    I just want you to know that it is people like your self that are pulling me through this, I feel like God is using you and other means as a median to bring me to God, I know I must take action, I need to change my life not just for me, but to also help others feel inspired. If I can change my life with my thoughts then anyone can.

    God Bless

    So you see, there is hope here for Mike. I will put my reply to him below:

21. Gary
    April 4th, 2010 at 12:01 pm

    If you are interested in following this through, here is my reply to Mike:

    “Hi Mike,

    It seems like you are beginning the transformation process. Trust me – when YOU change via your attitudes towards other people and life in general all sorts of things will start to improve for you.

    You will still have rough days but IF you concentrate on having a better life and outlook on life then things WILL improve. I have been where you are. I know how it feels. But I did something about it.

    I will answer your email below in more detail later as I have to leave my office for quite a while. Yes, I am working right through Easter helping people.

    But, in the meantime, I would like you to focus on what would make you feel HAPPIEST. If you tell me then I will either take an affirmation from my Brain Training manual or I will construct one especially for you. What is your greatest need? I feel as though it is general happiness itself. Because if you get that nailed down first then everything else will become easier for you. For example, money will not make you happier right now. I know that sounds stupid but I believe your need goes far deeper than that. You need to feel good about yourself and restore your natural powers which have become dull and diminished by your current mindset.

    Money can follow. I say this because you need a solid foundation upon which to build a skyscraper. If you build it on mud it will fall.

    Anyway, I will get back to you later Mike.

    Do not make the mistake that so many make… affirmations are extremely powerful. Most people will never know about their power. But they have to be done properly or they could backfire. I know how to do this. I have helped a lot of people with these. And, I am sure that if you give it an opportunity the affirmation that I take from my book or custom create for you will assist you greatly.

    I’m glad you are responding to my assistance. Many lesser people would not.

    Keep your chin up. Today you have greater presence than you did yesterday and MUCH greater presence than when you sent me that first email. Your words and the way you are expressing yourself tell me that. Well done Mike! Well done.

    Regards

    Gary

22. Anthony Smits
    April 4th, 2010 at 2:08 pm

    Hi Gary,

    Thank you for sharing this story of the way you’re helping ‘Mike’. And it reminds us; certainly reminds me, how things ‘ain’t so bad’. There’s always plenty of people who have many more challenges than us, and who can rise above them, like ‘Mike’ is beginning to do.

    There’s two great stories here: yours is just as compelling as ‘Mike’s’. You’ve explained how you walked a similar road earlier in life, and I think that explains why you’re so empathetic to ‘Mike’. I’d challenge anyone wh o isn’t moved by these parallel stories. Myself, I’ve got a lot out of this conversation already. I haven’t had the physical challenges that ‘Mike’ has with headaches; I have other ones. Much less debilitating however, and certainly don’t involve Surgeons and knives on arms.

    I agree with you about affirmations – about any repetitive activity. Results happen through repetition, as you demonstrated so well with your arm recovery. We must be on guard to make sure that the things we’re repeating will lead to the results we want.

    Little things too. The tiniest actions can be the most influential, I find, and sometimes to my regret.

    Gary, you’re encouraging every time you speak. I hope you are able to walk along with ‘Mike’ for a while. He’s winning, and so are you. This is an email you’ll be pleased that you didn’t just delete.

    Have a repetitive day!

    Kind regards
    Anthony

23. Gary
    April 4th, 2010 at 2:38 pm

    Hi Anthony – thanks for taking the time to read all that info above AND for leaving a quality comment. I see you remembered the drama I went through rehabilitating my arm some years ago after a dreadful accident.

    The truth is – we ALL have tribulations. You hint at some of your own. But, it’s how we respond that determines who we are. We can stay down in the ditch or we can claw our way out. It reminds me of that catchy song: “I get knocked down, but I get up again!”

    I really appreciate your compliments too. I seem to be getting quite a few for doing this but that wasn’t even a factor in my decision to take this course of action. It could just have easily back-fired on me too. In fact, I’m still waiting for somebody to say: “How DARE you print private replies!” It’s just a matter of time… But I have that covered too. Just in case. And in the back of my mind now – because this is such an important learning-teaching-coaching opportunity – an IDEA is festering … I’m still thinking about that.

    Thanks again Anthony.

    Gary

24. Hilary Dickinson
    April 4th, 2010 at 8:58 pm

    Gary

    Thank you for your compassion and for sharing it with others. God bless you and others like you. I’m glad to know you through this medium of the internet and I’m sure that others do too.

    Hilary

25. Gary
    April 4th, 2010 at 11:59 pm

    Hi Hils – well thankyou ma’am! Like I mentioned to Anthony above, I had no ulterior motive other than to try to show people WHY so many of us get these emails because it can be very upsetting to the receiver too.

    Sending and receiving nasty emails is a DOUBLE NEGATIVE. Nobody wins. But there are reasons. That is what I am trying to show here. If we can all be a little more tolerant of each other and THINK before blasting off a furious email then that will help create a more winning environment for everyone.

    I’ve been abused a fair bit by email and I know that so many others have too. I just felt that it was time to probe the whole abusive email thing a bit. [Jeez... I just HOPE that this doesn't evoke a swathe of abusive emails to me by people wanting me to help them too coz that ain't gonna happen. I'm only one guy and I can't save the world - even though I'd like to. LOL!]

    I’m glad to know you too Hils. The Internet has opened up the possibility for worldwide friendships and I have made some brilliant friends all around the world. So despite the “downside” at times, there are FAR more benefits. It’s all in how we perceive the yin and the yang of it all.

    Thanks Hilary.

    Gary

26. Collette Jones
    April 5th, 2010 at 4:04 am

    Hi Gaz

    I read your blog post about the nasty email you received from ‘Mike’ with interest.

    Why was I not surprised to see the time and effort that you’ve put in to your replies to Mike… I only hope he takes notice and acts upon your advise.

    I feel I’ve got to know you well over the past few months, as our online friendship has flourished and I know that, while you don’t ‘suffer fools gladly’ and have no qualms about telling people what you think… deep inside you’re a real softy with people’s best interests at heart.

    As you say, for one reason or another, there are a lot of angry people out there in the world, but, thank goodness there are a lot of good people too.

    And you’re out there on top with the best of them!

    Talk soon Gaz

    Collette

27. Gary
    April 5th, 2010 at 5:31 am

    Howdy Colls – Nice of you to come here.

    I think Mike is starting to turn his ship around. It will take time coz he was in a bad mindset. But I’m helping him to see that he CAN change IF he wants to. And I think he WANTS to.

    Like I keep saying – it MUST come from within. I can pour gasoline all over something but if there is no spark or no flame then there will be no bonfire. Just something sodden and reeking of gasoline.

    Heh… heh… heh…

    [snip]“…I know that, while you don’t ’suffer fools gladly’ and have no qualms about telling people what you think.”[snip]

    NOPE! Nobody is gonna die wondering where they stand with me. That’s for sure. It gets me into so much trouble but whether people like me or loathe me that’s the way it is. Black and white.

    Aw, shucks Colls…

    “And you’re out there on top with the best of them!”

    You didn’t have to say that! But any time you wanna say it again… ONLY JOKING! [People are gonna start thinking I pay you guys to say these things. What was your paypal account again?] Thank you. I do try.

    Gary

28. Gary
    April 5th, 2010 at 5:35 am

    FOR THOSE WHO ARE FOLLOWING OUR PROGRESS:

    Look, this is starting to get ridiculously long now but, here is where we are at now. Here is the latest:

    Mike’s email back to me:

    Gary,

    “This could be a very vital stepping stone for me, I do feel very lonely at the moment and its good to know someone out their cares. I am not just feeling sorry for myself, and as much as I love my family, things are hard because of the way I am.

    To have something custom made just for me, is a saviour, its just what I need but please do bare in mind that I have nothing. So something simple like going to the Gym or learning a martial art is out of the question.

    As for what I want, I feel like I have the burden of the world on my shoulders. I do want to be happy, I want to feel fearless and to have the mindset of a warrior, I believe that from fear comes courage so hopefully if I take the right steps this will transpire.

    I dont want money, I want to be wealthy, I want to help people heal their mental and physcial pain. I want to teach people the laws of the universe and be a friend to those in need. I do however feel like I need money, for it is money that is holding me back. I want to be peaceful but I owe court fees of £600 for driving without insurance, a mistake I made, but the courts decieved me, I was in a job I loved doing and was a delivery driver. They told me I was ok to drive and I would not be loosing my license, but the next day I was stopped by police and they told me I had lost my license.

    They now have a county court judgement in my name which Is making it harder to find a job, and next week they have threatened to take it further and put an arrest warrant out for me. This is why I can relax.

    A job I know would not bring me anything but more pain, after all I was not created by my creator to work like an animal, I was created to be creative. I have no issues working hard but doing something I love. By getting a simple job I can start to pay off my debts, I can start to invest in myself and pay for the gym and martial arts lessons, it will also help me use my day up.

    I just want to be the wealthy man I know I can be, I want to remove these evil spirits from my mind, and be a projector type person rather than a reciever. By this I mean I want to be able to focus on the things I need to complete my mission by using laser like focuss.

    A job is just so much headache and everytime I get a job I loose it. I have lost 6 jobs in 3 years, and dont believe I am the type to work. I dont really want a job, I want an income, but I need a job to save up and pay my £15000 debt.

    I want to be healthy and vibrate on such a high frequency that when people see or speak to me, they feel good already, they feel inspired and they can come to me for life energy.

    I want to open up my own foundation called “The tree of Life” where I provide free life changing course, I want my own “Stars” investment program, where ideas turn into reality, no need for the business plan I will invest in just good people with good ideas.

    I would like my own health store chains, and a few meditation centres. I would also like my own country and be a free man.

    I want my own website, course, DVDS and products to help people become who they want to be. I will help people just like you, directly.

    I know this might seem like a lot, But I do believe I can achieve this once I find an income and learn to be more healthy.

    Thanks again so much for your time, I need you right now Gary, its like my mind is diseased, actually its like the mind is a disease that needs to be silenced,and taught how to behave in order to achieve.”

    My reply to Mike:

    Hi Mike,

    Gee, I can detect a change in you already. Like I mentioned in my last email to you, I really feel that you will benefit from concentrating on being at peace with yourself. You cannot undo what has happened to you regarding the driving offences but facing up to that will be beneficial to you – in the LONG run. Your short-term need is to be happy and be at peace with yourself, your family and the world. Once you do that ALL else will change for you. Therefore, as promised, I am going to give you this HAPPINESS AFFIRMATION. You can work on resolving your other needs and wants later. But I do believe that this must come first. This is going to take 30 days.

    The actions and consequences that have brought you to your current dilemma have taken much longer so you need to give this TIME to work. I hope you understand this. NOTHING is immediate in this impatient world of ours. Everything takes time and commitment and effort. This will be NO different. If you bail out early (like MOST people do) then you will only get more of the same. Having said all that here are some general instructions from my BRAIN TRAINING manual:

    *******

    When using the following affirmations you should read them with emotion, preferably out loud, and with great desire and meaning. You should always read affirmations as though you are already in possession of that which you are seeking.

    Use the following affirmations every day without fail. Always read your affirmations as soon as possible on rising in the morning and always just prior to retiring in the evening. During the day try to read your affirmations as often as you can.

    Do not be concerned if the results you are seeking do not come immediately. Be persistent. Use the affirmations for 30 days without missing a single day. This will implant the positive messages into your normal way of thinking. Continuing the recital of your affirmations beyond 30 days will increase their strength, thereby manifesting itself in the results that you receive.

    Understand that different people have different levels of self-belief and self-worth. Results, therefore, will be different from one person to the next.

    For greater results you can write each affirmation into an exercise book every day. You can also add your name to each affirmation to personalize it for you. Commence each affirmation by saying: “My name is…” This will add further strength to the affirmation.

    Now, a little bit more about happiness from my manual followed by your happiness affirmation:

    Happiness seems to be the one common thing that most people in the world are striving to achieve. But there are a lot of unhappy people in the world. Lots of healthy people are unhappy. So too are lots of wealthy people.

    The notion of happiness is an elusive quality. What makes some people happy does not necessarily make others happy. It is a state of mind that is different for each of us.

    Most researchers tend to believe that happiness is something that we decide for ourselves. Often it is tied to self worth and self esteem.

    Maxwell Maltz, author of Psycho Cybernetics and a renowned plastic surgeon had this to say about the subject.

    “We act, behave and feel according to what we consider
    our self image to be and we do not deviate from this pattern.”

    Here is your happiness affirmation:

    HAPPINESS AFFIRMATION:

    “A feeling of inner happiness is coursing through me. I am choosing to be happy every day no matter what circumstances I find myself in. I awaken each day with a smile on my face because I know I will be at my best when I am happy. Other people see my happiness as a sign of great strength. I smile and greet people with genuine enthusiasm. My own happiness leaves everyone I meet in a happier state. Being happy is a wonderful feeling. A feeling of inner happiness is coursing through me.”

    END OF HAPPINESS AFFIRMATION

    *******

    Mike, give that affirmation 30 days to manifest itself and let the “magic” work. There are times where you will want to stop. Just DON’T. After 30 days come back to me and I will give you the manual and you can use it for the rest of your life. I sell this but you can have it. It’s one of my most successful products. But I won’t give it to you until you prove to yourself that this technique works. If I did that now it would overwhelm you because you would probably try everything in it and you need to work on just being happy FIRST.

    Go for it.

    Gary Simpson

    Like I said, this is getting pretty darn long. But I have an idea…

29. Stephen Bray
    April 5th, 2010 at 2:14 pm

    What an amazing and wonderful thread! It’s pretty clear to see
    that Mike hit rock bottom and now is starting to pick himself up
    by his bootstraps. All credit to him both for doing this, and also
    for finding, and testing you Gary, in order to see if he would be
    strong enough to catch him, help him to his feet, and then make
    sure that he could walk tall on his own.

    Of course Mike’s experiences will be very different if he is able
    to encounter each challenge in a spirit of inner resourcefulness,
    rather than fear and anger.

    To my mind his wish to help others facing trials, such as his, is
    a worthy ambition, as opposed to the toxic goals that many
    pursue.

    Many lasting friendships have formed from such beginnings,
    as the one you describe. Mike can be excused, somewhat, I
    think because so much Internet Marketing material is hyped,
    the repackaging of old ideas, or too far from many people’s
    current experience and world view and situation to be easily
    assimilated.

    So in fact although Mike may have seemed unwise to have
    challenged the Gazzman, it was undoubtedly a stroke of
    genius

    Stephen

30. Gary
    April 5th, 2010 at 2:23 pm

    Braysie! Where have you been my friend? I haven’t been able to contact you on Twitter or via email for so long? Are you OK? I was a bit worried that you had taken ill. [Or one of those damn Turkish mountain sheep had finally got you - LOL!]

    It wasn’t so much that Mike challenged me Steve – it was more a case of me wanting to know where he concocted those false assertions. I thought I knew and I wasn’t far off the mark. But I think he’s gonna be OK. He seems willing to work at it and I will help him.

    Thanks for coming here and adding to the conversation Steve. I have always enjoyed our banter in the past and have missed it.

    Gary

31. Tweets that mention Internet Marketing – A Cry For Help | Internet Marketing TEMPLE of Learning for Newbies -- Topsy.com
    April 6th, 2010 at 12:56 am

    [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Gary Simpson, Gary Simpson. Gary Simpson said: TEMPLE POST: Fascinating interaction & reaction to “A Cry For Help” —> http://tinyurl.com/y9hgweu [...]

32. Alex Makarski
    April 6th, 2010 at 5:23 am

    Gary, you could be starting a trend here…

    Up until about now, I would delete an email like this and “next” that person forever. However, that is about to change. You have shown it is possible to have a conversation with someone so hopelessly lost. While there is a chance they may accept your help, it’s worth taking a little time to do that.. call it “good karma” or whatever.

    -Alex

33. Gary
    April 6th, 2010 at 5:59 am

    Hi Alex – Starting a trend huh? LOL! I guess what I am trying to point out with all this is that some of the negative and even nasty comments are just borne through complete frustration and sometimes misunderstanding and even ignorance.

    Having said that there is NO EXCUSE for rudeness. I was just curious why Mike felt as though I was mis-treating him.

    I had another woman this morning who, when she chose to unsubscribe, simply said (verbatim)…

    “too much bullshit.”

    Well that was lovely, wasn’t it? I emailed her back too. Turns out that she got 22 emails all saying the same thing – ALLEGEDLY from me. Well, I NEVER sent her 22 emails. But I have seen a virus that will do that.

    You see, during our “conversation,” where she maintained her anger, she actually said:

    [snip] “… As you may know that’s the new way to attract attention some people are promoting now. And after the 21st message i got rude…” [snip]

    Well, as I pointed out to her – NO. That is NOT the “new way to attract attention” – THAT is called a virus that is infecting your computer or your ISP.

    So that first bit she said was entirely incorrect. But she got the 2nd part of her message correct. She WAS rude.

    I suggested she conduct a virus scan to get rid of it. I think that would be a useful thing to do – especially since she has identified that this is NOT the first time it has happened to her. You’d think her own commonsense would tell her that something was wrong.

    But, you see, some people are VERY quick to go on the attack. They never stop to think THEY MAY BE WRONG or they are falsely accusing somebody. No. That doesn’t even enter their minds.

    Anyway, I shall see if she has the grace to reply to our exchange and admit she was wrong. I might even append that exchange here. It’s INTERESTING reading.

    I know that “some” marketers pull all sorts of devious stunts like using misleading subject lines to con people into opening emails but I ain’t one of them.

    Alex, some people, like Mike, may accept some help. I’d like to think I am setting a decent example here for being compassionate in the face of being insulted and wrongly accused. I expect that most marketers won’t take the time but if each of us just occasionally did what I am doing with Mike and – well, let’s call her “Mary” – then all of us might be able to help and support each other a little more instead of the DOUBLE NEGATIVE effect that I talked about above.

    Most marketers I know are definitely NOT the money-grubbing ogres that some people seem to think they are. I know HUNDREDS of them. So many of them are compassionate and very nice people. They also have feelings.

    There just seems to be so much bitterness in this world. It’s a curse. It also BLINDS people to opportunities that they would otherwise see.

    Thanks for coming here Alex. Looks like you might be taking the “baton” – so to speak. Good for you.

    Gary

34. Peter Davies
    April 7th, 2010 at 2:16 pm

    Wow – that was a Blog Post and a half. The simple fact is that probably every one of us has come through tough periods in our lives.

    Its how you deal with your issues and navigate through the choppy waters that count, lashing out is clearly not the best way to do this.

    I am sure with your exchange of emails you have at least given him something constructive to take on board. How well he does this is up to him

35. Gary
    April 7th, 2010 at 9:49 pm

    Hi Peter – First thanks for coming here to join in the discussion. True – all of us have been through various battles. “Choppy waters” and “take on board” – are you a sailor? Just kidding. Your comments sounded somewhat nautical to me. LOL! You are 100% correct when you say:

    “How well he does this is up to him.”

    I have said it many times before – we cannot want something for other people MORE than they want it for themselves. For example, if one of our friends is taking illegal mind-altering drugs – THEY have to want to quit doing that. And until THEY get fed up and WANT to quit there is NO amount of coercion on our part that will make them do it. In fact, we will be seen as the “enemy” if we interfere.

    Gary

36. Ken Garrett
    April 9th, 2010 at 6:46 am

    Gary,
    As I have followed this thread I have had two recurring thoughts.

    The first is my unoriginal belief that “nothing in life occurs without purpose”. The second is the Buddhist proverb that states “when the student is ready the teacher will appear”.

    I feel that both are at play in your ongoing encounter with Mike. Had he chosen to simply delete and ignore the information you had sent rather than to respond with his wish to unsubscribe from your list, he would not have been exposed to the valuable information you have provided to him. Hopefully this will mark a turning point for Mike and you will find satisfaction in the knowledge of the role you will have played in his transformation.

    Ken

37. Gary
    April 9th, 2010 at 8:20 pm

    Ah Ken – Hi mate. Long time since I have seen you round these parts.

    You know, I hadn’t thought of it quite the way that you have. You are correct. If Mike hadn’t sent his original message that upset me the way it did then I wouldn’t have responded in the way I did and neither of us would have exchanged emails the way we have. Maybe there is a force at play here that has matched us up. Destiny. Fate. Luck. Divine intervention. Hmm.

    Good thinking Ken. Thanks for the visit. I appreciate the new thought you have brought here.

    Gary

38. Gary
    April 10th, 2010 at 3:06 am

    For those who may be following this thread:

    I have just received another email from Mike. Things are starting to look up for him. And that pleases me.

    It has occurred to me – and has from the outset – that perhaps I am revealing too much personal information here about Mike. [And even about myself - LOL]. You see, I don’t have Mike’s “permission” to place anything he says to me here, so I walk the tightrope in that regard… [a funambulist I am at times...]

    But, my reasons for doing this are several:

    First, I want him to be honest with me and whatever he says I don’t want it clouded by the fore-knowledge that it is being revealed,

    Second, I’m using this as a “learning experience” for others – a “case study” so to speak.

    In any event, I have not revealed Mike’s true identity, nor will I.

    I do hope that if Mike ever finds this thread that he will not feel betrayed. That’s not what this is about. It’s about demonstrating a real case scenario to help people on both sides of the equation understand how and why these things happen. If he does find his way here I hope he finds it cathartic and can find solace in the fact that it will help others.

    So, get ready for the next installment…

39. Gary
    April 10th, 2010 at 6:50 am

    From Mike:

    Gary,

    The last time you emailed me you said that I was beginning the transformation, and in actual fact I had begun the transformation a long time ago, yet no improvement to my life was made because of my cancerous mind.

    When you emailed me your last message Gary, I was in all honesty a little disappointed as well as cynical. But you know what I decided to give it a shot, I truly cant believe it has only been 4 days, it feels like a long time ago.

    Gary, you are like a guardian angel, a flickering light that casts out the shadows that blanket this earth. There was always that little place of love and positivity in my mind, but for the first time in years I broke down in tears whilst having a shower today. The tears were full of gratitude for God and his workers, I cant believe how simply powerful this technique is. I cant believe what a change has happened in 4 days, its just wonderful. I have been going to bed every single day early and waking up to watch the sunrise, I have been doing loads of sit ups and that spark, that something, the thoughts are now being projected. When I go to sleep I can feel the front part of my brain focusing, my migraines are still there, but they feel like they are easing. I am very hopeful. I have been reading this every morning and night, and find myself laughing all the time. I cant believe this works!

    Your a best friend for life, and I am thankful I got angry with you really I am.

    I have not felt like this for a long time, every breathe I take is a breathe of life, and I am going to accomplish all that I dream of. Instead of me replying straight away I just decided to get on with it, already I have had 3 people ask me to fix their computer and am currently fixing one for a friend down the road. The person never knocks on our house, it can not be a coincidence. It is really true, that when you change the way you see the world, the world you see will change.

    I am very excited about life, thank you so much Gary, thank you. I dont know how else to express my gratitude but you have come at just the right time. I think the transition is going to take place very soon, I am going to help hundreds of thousands of people. This is my desire.

    I also have written 80 pages of my book, it is a self help, debt, migraines,depression, self empowerment book. For everyone I sell I will give 3 away for free of charge.

    Thank you so much Gary, your possibly the only real friend I have. Thanks

    My Reply:

    Hi Mike,

    I know how cynical and negative people can be. I see it every day. The first thing that comes out of the mouth of so many people is “that’ll never work” and even if you explain how something does work and they can see logically that it will, the next thing is usually “yeah but I can’t do it.” I know. Somebody I love very deeply says those words with such monotonous regularity that I feel like screaming “SHUT UP WITH THAT CRAP!” But this person is now well into a very senior age and it is so inbred into their thinking that it’s an automatic response. They don’t even have to think for even ONE second before it comes spilling out. And gee, does it irritate me. It’s like pouring ice-water over every conversation.

    The same person always questions why I feel the need to achieve anything. Consequently, I rarely share my achievements with that person because the standard response is “why Gary, why do you want to do that?” And when I tell them they say… “I could NEVER do that!” Well, yep – aint that the TRUTH! Beaten mentally EVERY time. The gremlin of negativity has permanent residence in this person’s mind. And I find that so sad. Because this person has a wonderfully kind heart. So, I am determined NEVER to be like that. Hence, my website and my mission in life to encourage and build people into the very best that they can be. And to share the knowledge that I have to dosuch things. Very little gives me greater pleasure than being the catalyst for others to go on and make something of themselves.

    I bump into some of my former karate students from time to time and invariably they tell me that they wish they had never quit. But they also almost always tell me that they have taken the principles of what I have taught them to go on and become successful in other things. That makes me very happy.

    The affirmation that I gave you Mike was the most fundamental one in my entire tool kit. I wrote that affirmation for this very purpose. BUT… people, like yourself, need to give it a go. And you have. So, WELL DONE for overcoming the doubt that it would work. These things DO work. The only problem is that most people simply REFUSE to believe they will. Therefore they don’t even try – and that just re-inforces their self-imposed, false belief that they cannot change. If you don’t try something different then all you are ever gonna get is more of the same. That’s pretty obvious to me.

    You say: “I cant believe this works!” Yes. I don’t ask people to do anything I would not do myself. I have done this. I KNOW it works. I also have feedback from lots of other people who are so grateful that it works. Knowing the things that I do I find it difficult to understand the mindset like the one I described in my opening above – especially since that person is so closely related to me.

    Change your belief system and it changes your actions and that changes your outcomes. It all starts inside your head. When you really think about things that is the ONLY place where it can start. Yet so many people just think it’s all hocus-pocus, mind-mending, brain-washing – and their favourite word – bullshit. Well, bullshit to them for being so damn dumb for not even wanting to try. Duh!

    Mike, you also said: “when you change the way you see the world, the world you see will change.” CORRECT. You now have some clarity to move forward. NEVER forget that.

    You will still have down days Mike. Things will happen to you that you don’t want. People will still screw you over. Just remember, that has got more to do with THEM and their negative mind than what it has with you. This entire subject is very complex. I have studied so many books by the masters of this. I could write forever about it because it’s a subject that I feel very passionate about.

    Mike, it’s great to see that you now have a vision to go forward. Finish writing that book. Inject your soul into it. Then get it professionally edited. I already know it will be good and you will be able to use it to help other people.

    You can also try this… Go through all your CD’s and download every song that makes you feel good or is inspirational. When you feel a bit off or you really need to get ready to do something big play them – even if it’s the same song over and over. For instance – you may laugh at this – I had to write a sales letter yesterday. Before I did it I just sat and listened to Cher’s “If I Could Turn Back Time” over and over. In fact, I have it on now. There is something in the music to that song and the raw power of Cher’s voice that always gets to me. I get inspired by stuff like that and then, when I’m in the mood, I can really write some good stuff.

    I also replay events in my mind. For example – not necessarily in any order:

    ===> the crowd chanting for Muhammad Ali when he lit the torch at the LA Olympics. That was eerily motivationally spooky.
    ===> wheelchair athlete Louise Sauvage absolutely refusing to be beaten in a race by a much younger and more fancied opponent and literally hurling her wheelchair forward around the bend and into the straight. Every throust of her arms brought her closer and closer, inch-by-inch, until she over-powered the other woman.
    ===> Australia II winning the America’s Cup in 1983 for the first time in history – watching Dennis Connor’s much vaunted yacht, Liberty, relentlessly throw tack-after-tack and seeing Australia II responding every time to maintain the lead it had and then the raising of Australia II from the water to reveal the secret weapon that helped that victory so much – the winged keel
    ===> Cathy Freeman winning the 400metres at the Sydney Olympics when the expectation of our entire nation was well and truly upon her shoulders.

    These things really move me. I really like watching monumental events and athletes and performers in full-flight, using their God-given talents to the best of their abilities. More recently, the phenomena of Susan Boyle‘s rise to fame also comes to mind.

    Another singer who exudes pure power in his voice in almost every song is Noddy Holder of Slade. You may not even know who that group is – they were huge in the 1970′s – but this guy actually harnesses the power of his voice in so many of their songs because it is just so incredibly powerful. Look them up on YouTube.

    I know I’m showing my age just by mentioning some of these but listen also to Elvis Presley singing “An American Trilogy.” Here: Elvis Presley – watch the way the song builds then ebbs and then Elvis brings it to a tremendous all-conquering crescendo to finish off. How can anyone not be inspired by a performance like that?

    These are the things I use to get in the zone, so to speak. Try it for yourself Mike. When you have belief and your emotions are stirred you can do anything.

    As for me being your only real friend – I beg to differ. With your new found self-respect you will attract friends like bees around pollen. Pretty soon you will have more friends than you can handle. Mark my words. A Universal Law is in play for you here now.

    Keep up the great work Mike.

    Gary

40. Jacinta Dean
    April 10th, 2010 at 12:05 pm

    Hi Gary,

    This thread is absolutely amazing. To tell you the truth I am a little lost for words and that is a little unusual for me.

    What I have seen, felt and read as I have just spent the last half hour reading to get down to here is a teacher and messenger at play. Mike came into your life for a reason like you arrived into his and I actually believe this is just the pebble drop in the ocean. There is more to come.

    We all have stories and our demons and challenges in our lives. My dad used to tell me “What doesn’t kill me will make me stronger” That comment annoyed me heaps, however it is s true one when you think about it. And the other thing he still tells me today is “to focus on what I can control and not worry about what I can’t”

    Regarding the guys age. I have actually noticed a generation of anger emerging and it is sad to see.

    I do hop all works out for the best, however like I said I believe this is just the beginning in a shift of change for both you and ‘Mike’

    Cheers

    Jacinta

41. Gary
    April 11th, 2010 at 1:24 am

    Hello Jacinta – lost for words huh? Just like me – LOL!

    I think you kinda said a similar sort of thing to Ken Garrett above. Sometimes people meet for a purpose. Maybe this was one of those moments.

    Mike could have just unsubscribed and said nothing on the way out the door. But he did say something. It didn’t please me. I thought it was unwarranted and very unfair (from my perspective). But I could see that something had irritated him from HIS perspective. I just wanted to know WHY he felt the way he did. The rest you can see for yourself.

    I’m pleased to be able to extend some help to Mike. I can’t do it for others because I’m already pushed to the max with various other things that I do for other people – most of which will never be known. But I thought this was such an important issue that I decided to share it here.

    I too have witnessed many incidents of extreme anger and even violence from a certain generation. They have everything – much more than we ever had and yet they show so much discontent. I agree that it is sad. It’s almost like the entire world owes them everything.

    Your Dad sounds like a pretty smart guy to me.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts Jacinta.

    Gary

42. Garry Parkes
    April 12th, 2010 at 3:56 pm

    Hi Gazza my friend,

    Wow Gary, I’m blown away!

    As soon as I read the post when you put it up last week I thought what a great read and an inspiration to all in the way you responded to Mike initially and the initial exchanges. I wanted to add a reply instantly but then got engulfed sorting out the launch for Alex Jeffrey’s latest coaching program. Wow that’s been manic but so glad I’ve now found the time to come back and read how it is developing.

    You are having a real impact on Mike that is obvious for all to see and people have quite correctly commented on the superb “job” you are doing helping Mike out. Massive credit to you Gary for taking the time, energy, real compassion and dedication to make a real difference in this guy’s life. (Bet you’re getting all embarrassed now; but you deserve the praise Gary ) It is unfortunate that there are not more altruistic people in the world out there that just takes even a small amount of time to sincerely take an interest in people. The world would be a far better place for it

    It’s already obvious you have had an immeasurable impact on Mike’s life that will last forever, truly. But I’d like people to think about how just one action can have such a dramatic impact on the world around – a kind of butterfly effect. Now already Mike has reported an improvement in his situation and it is still only early days yet so even bigger and greater things await him. As he becomes mentally stronger and stronger that impact will be felt even greater by those around him, impacting their lives too in a positive way and so it continues – each influenced person influences those around him although admittedly the effect will be diminished as it ripples from the source (you & Mike). But imagine if similar acts happen amongst the many and you can see how powerful just getting one person into the correct frame of mind can be.

    Taking just Mike’s individual situation though. Just imagine if even half of Mike’s plans come to fruition that he is beginning to visualise now; starting a foundation and/or a business to promote and help others. Your initial actions will have started Mike on his way and have massive ramifications for countless people across the entire world. Incidentally Gary you do realise he’s a POM (English, for those readers unaware of the Aussie colloquialism). Of course I’m a POM too as many of your regular readers will know so just jesting with you there. Thought helping a POM though was against your Aussie culture or something! … LOL, Anyway, it all started from you showing compassion and a real desire to make a difference to this total stranger’s life. How powerful is that?? You recognised Mike was screaming out for help and in following up you have made such a difference to not just Mike’s, but other people’s lives too.

    Just look at the comments from your readers too. It has impacted the way they think about things in a positive way and who knows the consequences of where that could lead as well with the boundary-free frontiers of the Internet. And all stemming from applying a positive mindset to just one situation. It would have been so easy for you to just delete his initial email and just move on but look at what a wonderful thing as come about from you having the right frame of mind and trying (and succeeding) to instil the same in Mike.

    Positive thinking/mindset really is the key to everything. I know people can glibly discount it when they haven’t tried but look at the impact in such a short space of time from someone like Mike who was no doubt at rock bottom. Positive thought really does materialise into real things in the physical world.

    I know form first-hand experience how many people are so frustrated about knowing what to do about running an online business and this chap initially took it out on you but I get it often when communicating online. I see so much negativity around all the time (particular on helping run AJs coaching support desk). You get all sorts of flak and abuse who blame you for whatever issues they are having at the time. Repeatedly I just keep upbeat, positive and courteous and gently get them to come around using positive instructions, encouragement and totally ignore whatever negative aspects they have tried to introduce into proceedings. It’s great when they come around and you can literally see a change in their outlook and approach. Even better when you get a thank you or apology for their prior outburst and I know then that I’ve made a difference which is a nice feeling

    But what you have done here Gary with Mike is spectacular example of how remaining positive and connecting with the people can really make a difference. And all from a few emails about Internet Marketing huh! – Who could have imaged the path this world, take?

    I’ll pop back later for what I’m sure there will be another great read and an inspiration for all. Your Blog maybe about Internet Marketing Gary, but the first thing people need to master in any venture is themselves.

43. Barbara Harvey
    April 12th, 2010 at 5:11 pm

    Hi Gary

    Wow what a post and how compassionate. I do know where this guys coming from (not the being rude part, there’s no need for that), but the desperation he is obviously feeling. I was bankrupt, had my home repossessed and basically felt like ending it all. (All through a sh*thead of an ex-husband) – but you either give in to it and go under or you, as the song says, pick yourself up, dust yourself down and start all over again, and I was a lot older than this guy. It’s all down to positive thinking, I am a Reiki healer and used this to help myself. I found Alex Jeffreys and although I am still struggling to make money – I will get there. It is people like you that give people like me hope that success will come. You are always ready to give free information to help others and long may you continue to do so . Good on you Gary!

    Barbara

44. Gary
    April 13th, 2010 at 1:22 am

    Parkesy! [the "Alpha" male - a little joke from our last seminar in Las Vegas folks...]

    Thanks for taking the time to come here Gazza. I know how unbelieveably busy you have been doing all the admin work for Alex (Gangsta) Jeffreys. You do such a great job there mate. I sincerely mean that. Anyway…

    “Bet you’re getting all embarrassed now; but you deserve the praise Gary”

    In some things it is very difficult to embarrass me. But in others it’s easy. This is one such moment and I gotta say, I wasn’t initially gonna allow all this to play out here but I just thought that it was such a powerful message. So I put it up to share with everyone – in the HOPE that people on both sides of the spectrum can understand and maybe learn a few things. Certainly I did NOT want to embarrass Mike (not his real name anyway).

    I do a lot of behind-the-scenes things for a lot of people. I know that you do too. Often that is to the detriment of our own projects. I know absolutely that you are a huge giver yourself Garry – so… I embarrassed you back. LOL!

    Actually, I know a lot of marketers who are very fine people. They, or I should say WE, all get attacked from time-to-time by angry and misguided people. The circles that you and I run in Garry certainly have many WONDERFUL people who really only want to make a POSITIVE difference in people’s lives. Most of the people who have been attracted to what Alex Jeffreys offers have been really nice people. I think that is the REAL power behind Alex. He just attracts very good people – and some extremely talented ones too from what I have seen.

    That was a very interesting comment that you made about the Butterfly Effect. Random acts of kindness can be the difference between somebody moving on in life and having a great positive impact of their own OR going the other way and becoming a destructive influence. God knows we already have ENOUGH of them in the world.

    I’m a guy who likes to believe that good will prevail over evil but the minions of evil sure do cut a swathe of destruction. Enough on that coz I can bung on forever about such things.

    You mentioned “Poms” – Gazza, you know that Australia was founded on good English convict stock. LOL! That is why we like to beat you in everything – cricket, rugby, the Olympics – and USUALLY do. [Gee, I'm on shaky ground now - LOL]

    When you said:

    “Positive thinking/mindset really is the key to everything.”

    Aint that the TRUTH. It was funny when you and I were walking through the mall at the Mandalay Casino in Las Vegas [not last time but the time before] and we both spotted that bookshop and both of us gravitated to it and then we both trolled through all the self-help books. very amusing was that. And we did it again when we were with Adam Spiel and Mike Ottman (I think Otto was there). <— Two more very fine people, I might add! And then I recommended some book that I had read but you hadn’t.

    One of them was “Psycho Cybernetics” and I think the other was “What to Say When You Talk to Yourself.” Both are FABULOUS books. I have read each of them three or four times. I know you have since read Maxwell Maltz’s cybernetics book and really enjoyed it. I ENCOURAGE EVERYBODY to read those books. I have made posts about them elsewhere on my blog because I believe so much in the knowledge they contain. (NOTE: use the search function in the top RHS corner of the blog to find them).

    I know what a positive influence you are for all the people in the Alex Jeffreys coaching Garry and for that everybody in that “team” is very grateful to you. [Jeez! Sounds like the Mutual Admiration Society in full turbo mode - LOL] And I know that you also get a bit frustrated at times when people take out their own frustration and anger – and dare I say it? incompetence – on you. It’s pretty standard fare when dealing with large groups of people.

    You also said:

    “Your Blog maybe about Internet Marketing Gary, but the first thing people need to master in any venture is themselves.”

    ABSOLUTELY! Our mindset shapes the person we are and the person we are striving to become. Unfortunately, for some people, they leave that all to default and succumb to the misery and dross of negativity or the influence of “toxic” people who are failing and going nowhere themselves. [aka - the often heard "wrong people"]

    Our minds are the most precious and powerful asset that we possess. I could recommend another book for everyone that explains this so well – “Man’s Search For Meaning” by Dr Viktor Frankl. A WONDERFUL book. Truly amazing insights can be had just from reading and absorbing that little gem.

    Anyway Garry, I could go on and on about this stuff. We share many common values. I want to thank you for coming here and making such a great comment. Like I said above [I am prone to repeating myself when trying to make a point - LOL!], I know how frightfully busy you are right now with this major launch so to come here and spend time adding to the value of this subject is great mate. We’ll talk soon.

    Gary

45. Gary
    April 13th, 2010 at 1:56 am

    Hi Barbara – Gee. That was a nice thing to say – the last bit. Naturally, I took that first – LOL! (I’m just kidding around. I tend to do that when I want to deflect things. There – now people know one of my little secrets.)

    I’m sorry to learn about your own personal tribulations. We all have these moments in our lives. I know I do. Life can be a roller-coaster ride of ups and downs. And sometimes “certain” people are sent to test us. And some of those people can be VERY trying. Anyway, you know what I mean so enough of that!

    As you also said:

    “[snip]… It’s all down to positive thinking…[snip]“

    Thanks for adding to the discussion Barbara.

    Gary

46. Michael Ottman
    April 13th, 2010 at 4:45 am

    Hey Gary, it’s been a while since I visited the Temple. I have spent the last 45 minutes devouring this entire post.. or should I say, Mike’s amazing life change.

    You have proved yourself yet again as the Gazz-Master in helping others realize the potential that resides within each of us. You have a great way of being true to the name of your blog.

    I had no idea this post was going along as recently I have sent my own list the question of “What Can I Do For You”? This stemmed from wanting to offer more than just affiliate offers since that’s all I see in my inbox.

    I get frustrated at all the offers in my email and assume most people do too so it’s very nice to see that even with all that you give, people still spew negativity even though it’s not really directed at you but rather their own lack of self worth.

    The reason I say this is it’s proof to me that it’s not you that caused the problem. I now have a great example that no matter how much you give, the receiver still has to take action. There are no push button riches, no push button happiness, and no push button results.

    I only hope to have the strength to give as much to my subscribers as you do to yours. This is the reason why I want to really help mine if they will let me know what they want and need. I can only do so much while trying to give value. The rest is up to them.

    I honestly don’t mind unsubscribes but havent had the opportunity to deal with a nasty comment as you did. This has been a great experience for me to read and learn as we all progress online and in life. My prayers go out for Mike and his recovery and success.

    Michael Ottman

    PS. I know of no other person online or in real life who could have pulled off with Mike what you did. You are definitely a motivational master.

47. Gary
    April 13th, 2010 at 6:42 am

    Oh Michael… it took me a little while to stop laughing at your reference to – “the Gazz-Master” – crikey Moses! You make me sound like one of those Guitar Hero games, or something.

    Um, Mike… TEMPLE mate, not Temple. LOL! Just kidding. Sort of.

    You say:

    “[snip] … people still spew negativity even though it’s not really directed at you but rather their own lack of self worth.[snip]”

    Yes! I really believe most of the nastiness and anger is just a manifestation of sheer frustration – though there are some trouble-makers who use foul language and say the most hideous things to offend people deliberately. I hear examples of that from other IMers all the time.

    I think you have set a FINE example for others to follow Otto. I remember back some time ago where you just kept doing one free job after another for people to show your worth. I have used you exclusively for my e-book covers ever since and I tell everyone else to come to you too.

    Check out those e-book covers on my blog folks – Otto did most of those. You can see the ones that he did coz they all have that general style about them – and that’s the one I like.

    Thanks for the “motivational master” tag. The truth is I am just very widely read and I enjoy helping people where I can. IMO it’s far better to build people up and make them greater than to tear them down to belittle them. That is how the world progresses.

    Most of my e-books are written for expressly that purpose – as you know, a well written instructional manual can help an infinite number of people. If I had to explain all these things to people one-on-one then I would burn out real fast. Not to mention how massively inefficient that would be. The way I do it – ie with the ebooks (with the spekky covers!) I can reach far more people. For example, Power of Choice – at the last count a few years ago when I was tracking it – has already gone into 40+ countries.

    Automation is a great thing and the Internet allows me and everybody else to share what we know for the benefit of those around us who may not be so experienced.

    I think you are a great example for others to follow Otto. I was on your blog earlier today. You are on the right path IMO.

    Thanks for sharing Michael (NOT to be confused with the other Mike, who I hope is still advancing in leaps and bounds).

    Gary

48. Rob Bradley
    April 14th, 2010 at 7:51 pm

    It’s been too long since I’ve stopped by at the TEMPLE and WOW what a post to return too!

    There’s not really a lot I can add to all the great comments added along with your words so I’ll just keep it short here mate!

    I think you’ve genuinely made a POSITIVE life changing impact on *Mike* which goes to show what a top bloke you are!

    Wise and inspirational – and I thought you Aussies only knew about cricket and beer

    Proud to know you GazzMan!

    Rob

49. Gary
    April 15th, 2010 at 2:53 am

    Hi Rob – AHA! You’ve noticed… TEMPLE. [laughing coz it is just SO egomaniacal]

    Thanks Rob. Your words are somewhat – and I pretty much hate using this term – humbling. That was very nice of you to say those things.

    Most Aussies are indeed fairly knowledgeable about cricket and beer. Oddly enough, my favorite beers, in order, are: Sapporo, Asahi, Kirin (all Japanese) followed by Grolsch and Tiger. Unfortunately, most of what we drank in Vegas was Budweiser. That’s OK too – in the absense of the others.

    I’m really hoping that Mike can use my words in a cathartic manner and that they can be the catalyst for him to propel himself to a very successful future. I was gonna say metamorphosing instead of propel but there would be just too many unusual words in that sentence. But I WANTED to say that – LOL!

    Thanks Rob!

    Gary

50. Gary
    April 15th, 2010 at 3:02 am

    NOTE TO FILE:

    I’m actually a bit mystified that NOBODY to date has zoomed in and taken the alternate view and criticized me for bullying “Mike” or whatever. I’ve been waitting for it coz there’s always somebody who takes issue with whatever anyone tries to do.

    The offer is there. I’m not above being criticized. Like everyone else I don’t like it but I’m laying myself open here. I like to think I am doing something really good for Mike but if anyone disagrees then just say so. I won’t censor you if you disagree with what I’ve done or something I have said.

    To be brutally honest I really wasn’t expecting all the accolades. It’s nice but that just ain’t life. So, if anyone has a criticism then just say so. It’s OK – so long as you have a decent reason. I can hack that. Go for it. I don’t bite… ha-ard! Only joking. I’m serious with what I said though. If you’ve been holding back then say so. I’m up for it.

    Gary

51. Nikki
    April 16th, 2010 at 11:13 am

    Thought I’d pop on over to add my opinion…

    This all reminds me of the following poem (apologies as I don’t know the author, it was sent to me in an email from a good friend of mine).

    “People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.

    When someone is in your life for a REASON…It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a Godsend and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be.

    The, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. Sometimes they die. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. Your need has been answered, and now it is time to move on.

    When people come into your life for a SEASON…It is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

    LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.”

    I think that sums it all up pretty accurately really!

    Nikki / PMW

52. Internet Marketing | Mozilist
    April 17th, 2010 at 6:32 am

    [...] <b>Internet Marketing</b> – A Cry For Help | <b>Internet Marketing</b> TEM… [...]

53. Jeff Sargent
    April 18th, 2010 at 1:52 pm

    Hey Gary,

    Yeah I know it’s been a while since I’ve visited the Temple but I must say I’m being rewarded now by reading this unbelievable post. I don’t know how long I’ve been here reading this (guessing 45 minutes) but it’s been worth every minute. I sat down here at my computer to get some work done but was somehow distracted and ended up here. I don’t even remember how I got here to be honest.

    I have never spent this much time on anyone’s site before but I couldn’t tear myself away from this story about “Mike” and his new Sensei.

    I think you’re helping more than “Mike” here. Just taking a look at the comments here will tell you that. I know I’ve definitely benefited from your compassionate wisdom throughout this post and I thank you for that.

    In response to one of your own comments here…

    How could anyone possibly criticize you for trying to help a fellow human being in his desperate times. If you do by chance get any naysayers about what you are trying to do here then you’ll just have to add them to your list of new people that need your help.

    Now on the lighter side of things. You listen to Cher? A big tough guy like you. lol! I had to laugh when you said that.

    Truth be told..I grew up loving Cher and still do. A lot of people I know said her voice stunk but I always loved her voice because it was different. She could have done away with that shrimp Sonny long before she did as I think he just “stunted” her career. No pun intended. Well, maybe kind of.

    Good Luck with your ongoing relationship with “Mike” and hope you can help get him through his struggles.

    Later,
    Jeff Sargent

54. Karen
    April 19th, 2010 at 2:24 pm

    Hi Gary,

    I am a new student of Mark Terrell’s and I am hopping to people’s blogs and I have been here for a bit and I really admire the advice that you give to people. If you have a chance in the near future would you look at my blog and maybe leave a comment

    Thank You
    Karen

55. Cheryl Jones
    April 19th, 2010 at 5:53 pm

    Gary,

    You really went the second mile and more trying to help Mike…it was an amazing interchange.

    I am forwarding the link to someone I know who may benefit from it…the principles are so universal.

    Thanks for sharing.

    Cheryl Jones
    p.s. I would be honored if you would visit my blog and leave a comment. Thanks.

56. Gary
    April 21st, 2010 at 11:19 am

    First up – my apologies for the lateness of my replies. I’m not going to say that I’ve been really busy. Uh-uh… no way. I’ve been hideously, hippopotamically busy. There is just SO much going on at the moment – online and offline. So, I shall be brief – most UNUSUAL for me…

    @ Nix – well, you do surprise me! A poem. Nice. Let me help you out with the author. This particular author has many wonderful poems and pieces – Anne Onymos. Thanks for visiting Nix. When I get a mo I will head over to Le Lair.

    @ Jeff (>>>) Sensei? You have demoted me by several levels. LOL. Only joking. Thanks. I guess you could say that. Sensei is a term used in Japanese martial arts and, contrary to what most people believe, it literally translates as “one who has gone before.” So, I guess that is where the idea of teacher comes from.

    It has surprsied me that I haven’t had a naysayer yet. He or she will come – sooner or later. There’s nothing surer. Here’s a sample opening: “You self-righteous… how dare you suppose… blah, blah…”

    Anyway, getting past that – Cher! Yes! I LOVE listening to the rich power in her voice. She’s the female equivalent to Noddy Holder IMO. Remember I did that whole song and singer thread some way back?

    @ Karen – I shall attempt to do that but right now I am completely snowed under. Just one little thing though – when you do this blog-hopping make sure that you add to the conversation of the thread.

    If I took your comment verbatim and put it on your blog it would probably be suitable there too. Try not to be generic because such comments can be copied and pasted onto 20, 30, 50 blogs and that would be insincere. I’m not saying you have done that but… I know others who do. And some should KNOW better because they have been told about it several times in the past. And it really wears thin.

    @ Cheryl – thanks for saying that. I hope your friend can get the help they need.

    Thanks for visiting Nix, Sarge, Karen & Cheryl.

    Gary

57. Richard Moloney
    April 21st, 2010 at 11:41 am

    Hi Gary

    I have just spent some time reading this long post and following comments and it brought tears to my eyes.

    You have really gone overboard with your help and assistance to Mike and to many others reading this I would also say without fear of contradiction.

    You have always been a help to all of Alex’s students in the past and although we have not met yet I hope we can do so in the future.

    Richard

58. Gary
    April 21st, 2010 at 11:52 am

    Hi Richard – You must be a compassionate and emotional man.

    I certainly have tried to assist Mike. I’ve actually spent hours replying to him. I felt that he was a tortured soul who needed some help and encouragement. So, I buttered up.

    The one thing I never fear is contradiction from others. I can tolerate any criticism so long as it is well-founded. In fact, if it is compelling I may even be swayed to ameliorate my ideas or ways. by it

    I hope we can meet too Richard. If the plans that I am making come to fruition then that could be a real possibility.

    Thanks for popping over.

    Gary

59. Louise
    April 23rd, 2010 at 12:38 pm

    Hey Gary,

    Thank you for posting this conversation. Now in my forties, I have also been through some testing experiences (haven’t we all?) and could relate to “Mike’s” frustrations.

    I am happy that you pinpointed his spark of optimism buried in all that anger and hopefully redirected his focus onto that. Maybe when he replays that conversation in his head, he’ll put some thought into that.

    I also respect that you didn’t coddle him. Maybe he has had too much coddling in the past and doesn’t know how to be responsible for himself? Who knows? But your message says – you can do this – instead of – you poor thing, you’re right, you’ll never get out of this without another’s help.

    I think you handled this much better than I and many others would have. You gave him some firm guidance and you didn’t leave him empty handed. You gave him some free tools and strategies. Hopefully, he will realize you are helping.

    This is an opportunity for this young man to learn about his own power. And when he gets it, WOW! And I’m sure you will have been part of that.

    all the best,
    Louise

60. Julie
    April 26th, 2010 at 8:28 am

    Hey Gary,

    As usual, your kindness and willingness to help others is in abundance. You would have a heart of stone if you couldn’t feel Mike’s pain. He’s so desperate and it would seem that he’s rather articulate in his thinking and wants to be heard.

    Sometimes, we get so wrapped up in our own pain that we don’t stop to realise that there are others out there who are considerably worse off than ourselves. Reading what Mike had to say, I certainly sat up and reconsidered what I thought was a pretty rough time in my life. I remember how blessed I am to have a wonderful husband and 3 amazing, healthy kids.

    So, Gary, you’ve not only helped Mike, you’ve also helped at least one(me) avid reader of your blog too!

    I know I’ve told you on more than one occasion how great you are…….but, I’m prone to repeating myself, so, you truly are an inspirational man Gary!

    Kindest regards,

    Julie.

61. Nikki
    April 26th, 2010 at 1:24 pm

    Hey TGM,

    Thanks for giving me the author of that poem. As I said above, it was sent to me by a friend and I thought it had a certain resonance at the time so I kept it & have often thought about it.

    Nikki / PMW

62. Gary
    April 27th, 2010 at 1:12 am

    @ Julie – well, I try. It’s extremely difficult to accede to everyone’s requests and wishes and sometimes even their demands. That’s why this blog exists and all those free e-books. In that way I can reach a much wider audience.

    But even with all I have here there are still people who want personal intervention. The answers they seek are in the books and on the blog but they don’t want to read or search. We live in a “gimme now” time in history. If it isn’t instant and exceptionally gratifying then people just aren’t interested. That is why lotto is so darn popular – a (miniscule) chance at something HUGE! It’s just what most people are looking for – that massive payout for no effort.

    That is why so many people just fail. They want instant reward from little or no effort.

    Just this morning I had a fellow unsubscribe from one of my lists saying: “Not enough Gary Simpson content.” Like… duh! My blog link is CLEARLY displayed in EVERY email. I wonder if he has ever ventured here. Well, I let him know to come on over but will he? I wonder…

    Everybody sees the world through a lens. For some the lens is wide-angled but for many it is like looking through the reverse end of a pair of binoculars. Everything is tainted by what we think about and the experiences we have had. I could go on and on about this but I’ll save everyone and desist right now.

    Jules your’re gonna have to stop that other stuff – already I must turn sideways before I pass through even the widest doors.

    @ Nix – Well, you should know me by now. If I don’t know the answer I will always look it up. I looked it up and to my surprise… Anne has written MANY, MANY books and poems and all sortsa good stuff.

    Thanks for visiting ladies.

    Gary

63. Julie
    April 27th, 2010 at 11:30 am

    Hey Gary,

    It’s great turning sideways when going through doorways……you automatically suck your tummy in too! That’s not to be sneered at. LOL.

    Now then, where do I buy a lottery ticket? Just kidding!

    Keep up the great posts. I’m eagerly waiting for an update about Mike.

    Take care Gary.

    Julie.

64. Gary
    May 6th, 2010 at 1:06 am

    Hi Julie,

    I emailed Mike to see how he is getting on. Hope he is OK. It’s SO easy to slip back into negative ways. It takes a LOT of discipline to change – especially from negative to positive. And the HARDEST part – by far – is to make a start. He’s done that. So, fingers X’ed that he can go on. I hope he does.

    Thanks for coming back to see if there has been any progress.

    Gary

65. Craig Lingard
    May 6th, 2010 at 4:28 pm

    That’s a very inspirational post Gary.

    Just slightly off subject maybe … I noticed you are a practitioner of martial arts. As someone that studied Karate from the age of ten and then became an instructor not only of Shotokan Karate but also Kenjutsu Samurai I was convinced at a very early age that commiting oneself to the regular practice of almost any martial art is one of the best things you can do to train your mind to stay positive and focused.

    We’ve all been through tough, negetive times in our lives, but a mind that is trained to quieten itself and focus on the positives will help you to get through anything that may be thrown in your path. I would urge anyone who would like to learn about focus and discipline, whether it be in the personal or business life, to choose a martial art and absorb it’s lessons.

    Keep up the great posts Gary!

    Craig

66. Anthony Murphy
    May 10th, 2010 at 12:09 am

    Gary

    You have my respect absolutely. The only other thing I can think of saying is;

    AMEN

    Anthony

67. Gary
    May 10th, 2010 at 6:38 am

    @ Craig – thanks for the comments. I absolutely agree with all that you have said about the benefits of martial arts training. My online friend Thom Swartwood would also undoubtedly agree with you.

    @ Anthony – thanks. I was going to delete your comment because it seemed to be one of those “generic” backlink comments that so many people use but I recognized your name from the Alex Jeffreys forum.

    GENERAL: I emailed Mike the other day to see how he was getting on. His attitude is still OK but he has slipped a little bit. I felt that might happen. It’s pretty normal.

    I was going to post Mike’s reply but he said something that – well, it contained a reference to something that didn’t surprise me – I am 100% against. So, I am deciding whether to put it here or not.

    It seems to me that half the world engages in this activity and the other half abhors it. This activity has destroyed the lives of millions of people. NOTHING good has EVER come of this. I’m still thinking about whether I will share the exchange.

    Gary

68. Nikki
    May 10th, 2010 at 2:44 pm

    Hey TGM,

    Thought I’d see what was happening with this story. That’s interesting that ‘Mike’ obviously has some other influences in his life that you refer to above. We live in a world of instant gratification and looking after ourselves takes time and commitment. If we don’t see an instant improvement we all too often drop it, thinking nothing is happening, and go back to our old ways.

    It’s finding a way to remain motivated and positive so that we stick to our new way of living that can often be the hardest part.

    PMW

69. Darren L Carter
    May 13th, 2010 at 12:46 pm

    Hey Gary,

    What an insightful email exchange.
    You gave that guy a lot of value so hopefully he listens.
    But since he obviously isn’t thanking you I’ll go ahead and say thanks for sharing the value you gave him with us.

    Sadly he has the problem a lot of people have: he keeps choosing to focus all the negative things going on around him. Choose being the keyword there (glad you used it!)

    This is a great piece of advice and I agree with it totally:
    “I’m actually glad you have unsubscribed because with an attitude like yours you just don’t have what it takes to be successful right now. Waken up to yourself and stop thinking that everybody owes you something.”

    It’s up to him NOT you. He sees your advice and thinks it is up to you to make your advice help him. Really it is only up to US to use the advice we get. He has it backwards.

    Obviously it’s your call whether to post the thing that “I am 100% against” but I would say if you think it can give value to readers then it might be good.

    I’m just starting out with internet marketing and my blog and I stumbled on your blog. Quite impressed with the value you provide already! Thanks.

    Peace,
    Darren Carter

    p.s. – Looks like you’re into Japanese…??????

70. Darren L Carter
    May 13th, 2010 at 12:49 pm

    Sorry – those question marks were meant to be a message written in Japanese for you but looks like it didn’t show up… (Yoroshiku!)

71. Sally Neill
    May 20th, 2010 at 9:25 pm

    Hey Gary,

    Just read through your post, can’t believe you spent so much of your time trying to help this guy even after he kinda verbally attacked you, the technique you said about the headaches I am going to try out as I sometimes get migraines, will let you know if it helps me out. I would never have guessed the guy’s age, was shocked when you actually said his age, for some reason I imagined him to be much older, dunno why I just did, really good post, it shows that you can give someone everything they need but ultimately they need to take action, I did feel a bit bad for him at the end, hope he turns things around, Sally

72. Gary
    May 22nd, 2010 at 10:13 am

    @ Nix – I agree 100% with what you said. The “influence” comes from a chemical substance that has the formula C21-H30-O2. I had a friend ONCE who fell prey to this vile material.

    He told me time and time again that he’d quit it. But he NEVER did. He just became adept at lying to me – giving me the answers that he KNEW I wanted to hear. He lied to everybody, his brothers, sisters, friends and even his parents. The end came when he threatened to buy a handgun and shoot me in the head. Since then I have no time for any form of chemical interference.

    @ Darren – I revealed the problem above in my reply to Nikki. It really saddened me to find this out. Until the substance abuse is removed I can do nothing. It’s like talking at somebody rather than with them.

    Yes, I am into most things Japanese – EXCEPT their food and sake. All else I find rather interesting and enchanting. I think I read elsewhere that you live in Japan.

    @ Sally – Kinda? He did. LOL! I can handle aggressive, arrogant, impatient and generally nasty people. I even give most of them MUCH more tolerance than the average person would. I will even help them if they can tone down and be reasonable. I know everybody gets angry now and then so I give people the benefit of the doubt and just think that maybe they interacted with me at a bad time for them.

    I hope he turns things around too but there is a shield between him and the rest of us right now. Until he addresses that and removes its harmul strangling influence then I fear there is little more that I or ANYONE can do.

    Yep. Try that migraine remedy. I can generally remove or ease a person’s migraine – then, after I’m done, they have a NEW problem… they can’t walk. LOL!

    Thanks Nix, Darren & Sally.

    Gary

73. Max
    June 11th, 2010 at 5:26 pm

    Hi Gary,

    I had the impression that I had seen the first part of the post somewhere else – asking to be mentored for free (perhaps he tried it on in different places). But his follow up and, above all, your response are breath taking. I doubt somehow that he will take on board what you wrote.

    That notwithstanding, your response is a model to us all. Congratulations and chapeau. Way beyond the call of duty. I am glad I scrolled through your blog and found this post. Everything else that can be said, I believe has already be said.

    Have a great weekend.

    Max

74. Anthony Smits
    June 12th, 2010 at 5:45 pm

    Hi Gary

    I thought I’d return to see how things were with ‘Mike’, and I see how the thing has turned. I too hope ‘Mike’ finds his way out of that particular labyrinth because until he does, there’s not a lot that others can do for him.

    But I think there’s tremendous value in this thread for all who’ve wandered here and found your inputs of positivity. Even if we’d never seen ‘Mike’s’ posts, those from you and the others who took time to add something here have made a web of caring that bears rereading.

    The practice of not giving up on someone; realising that there may well be good, or at very least the hope of good in them – and then giving legs to that with ACTION – is an act any of us could do. Many don’t. These thoughts are for me a great reminder. Thanks, Gary, for having this here to be pondered on.

    Anthony

75. Dulcinea
    August 25th, 2010 at 5:33 pm

    Dear Gary,

    This is my first time in your “Temple”, as I’ve only started to Internet last month – my son came over and showed me how (and you thought YOU were showing YOUR age…!), and this is the first time I’ve taken the time to read a “blog” (http://motivationselfesteem.com/talk/).

    I was SO impressed with your intelligent writing style, and the way you responded to anger by reaching out to help a total stranger… it was almost as if I was being vicariously helped along with “Mike”… that I had to print out the site (175 pages!)

    You see, I’m not an angry person – heavens, no! more like the “funny foreigner” where I live – but do suffer under ferocious migraines as well, that, although they seem to be letting off bit by bit since reaching my climactarium, are still debilitating when the attacks set in. I was so grateful to read your suggestions, I intend to try this next time (and, yes, there unfortunately always IS a “next time”, no matter what I try to tell myself).

    Like Mike, I can’t go anywhere either… my €250/month pension is too much to die but too little to live on. I can buy groceries, feed my cat, and that’s it. So I, too, must stay at home, and keep my wishes modest.

    HOWEVER… in spite of this, I’m basically a happy person, albeit emotional – I must admit I was moved to tears by your engagement for this poor fellow. Please tell “Mike” that he’s not alone… many people suffer under various illnesses and other limitations, but he DOES have the Internet, and he has YOU!

    We all have our individual crosses to bear; this is what give us character. If I had not suffered the losses in my life, I would not be the woman I am today – I would be less… and that would be too little.

    If you’ve ever heard Stephen Sondheim’s song “I’m Still Here”, you know what I mean (now I really AM showing my age!).

    Keep up the good work, and please send me whatever you’ve written. I may be just as financially embarrassed as “Mike”, but as long as I can enrich my mind and help my neighbours, I’m wealthier than Queen E!

    Respectfully,
    Dulci
    

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