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Internet Marketing – Just Be Yourself
by Gary ~ September 20th, 2009
Hi,
Well, my Internet Marketing topic for today may be a little boring for you but…
… this is just SO important. In fact, I have been thinking about it off and on most of the weekend. I wasn’t even gonna write it. Then I thought – yeah, it’s boring to me and it’s obvious to me but then I have been around the block a few times with this Internet Marketing caper. I’ve seen a lot in Internet Marketing stuff in my travels and what may be blatantly obvious to me and even boring may, in fact, be a revelation to others. So, here it is…
BE YOURSELF.
Startling stuff hey? Well read on, I have some ideas and observations to throw at you and maybe a little bit of humor too…
Don’t be a clone of Alex Jeffreys or Mike Filsaime or Stephanie Mulac or Rich Schefren or John Thornhill or Dave Nicholson or Paula Brett or Omar Martin or Rosalind Gardner or Maria Andros or Garry Parkes or Dean Holland or even me for that matter! (heaven help you!)
WHY?
Because YOU are UNIQUE. There is NOBODY exactly the same as you in the entire world! You have unique talents. You have a unique way of expressing yourself. Some people will find you hideously irritating. Some will find you arrogant. Some will find you boring. Some will like you. Some may even find you enchanting. Some might even get so fixated on you that they will stalk you. Yeah, it happens. Social media networking is a real tutti-fruiti haven for cyber-stalkers. But that is a subject I will cover a bit later on. Back to the subject at hand…
… It’s horses for courses.
Don’t sacrifice YOUR uniqueness by copying what some other dude does. That would be false and it would be wrong and it will kill your own WONDERFUL UNIQUENESS!
I was discussing this on a forum recently with several people. Josh Bartlett and I took the lead and we really went to town on copycats. That is, people who cross their own lines of decency, morality, humility, standards and/or character to emulate somebody who they want to be like. Put simply – it’s dumb! Yep! It’s a really dumb move.
At this point, this let me ask you this… do you think that even your HEROES have their own unique weaknesses and faults. They do! Nobody is a tower of strength in everything. Even the mighty have their Achille’s Heels.
In its most amusing and aggravating form I have seen people even take on the laugh of a boss or person who impresses them. This is really pathetic – especially when the person being copied has a quirky or weird laugh. All of a sudden instead of having one hyena we have a pack of guffawing, snorting wannabes all parodying the “leader of the pack’s” jack-ass type laugh.
I am quite an observer of this and I have studied it a fair bit through the teachings of Allan Pease the body-language expert. I have been to some of his seminars and have a few of his books (of course!).
If you ever get the opportunity to see Allan Pease live then I recommend that you go. Pease is a scream and he can teach you a LOT! In fact, check out his website in that link I just gave you – when I looked there was a very funny but, at the same time, educational video there about an orange tie. WHOA! Not yet! Finish reading what I say first. You can always come back to that link.
Back to emulating others… what if such a person has a distinctive tattoo? Do all the clowns clones then have to go out and get similar tattoos, or piercings, or whatever? What about a favorite saying? Does everybody have to turn a cliché into such an obvious hackneyed, copycat parrot call? What about a distinctive walk? Do we all need to walk like a homey?
I have seen this behavior with monotonous regularity over the years. Don’t be a “monkey see, monkey do” type. Forge your own personality and maintain your OWN uniqueness and character.
Like I said, YOU are UNIQUE. Keep it that way. You will always have your detractors but you will also have your followers – IF you blaze your own trail and be true to yourself.
One of the examples that Josh gave that made me smile was that of Internet Marketer Frank Kern – you know, “Mr Mass Control” – the guy with the surfboards who wears the grass skirts and who says “dude” a lot. Now there are some people so enamoured with Frank that they too wanna be seen with surfboards and be known for goofy-footing and hanging-five and talking surf-dude talk (eg “smokin hot left-hander” and “rantry” burble, burble, burble). Uh-uh! Don’t do that shit!
Heh… heh… now I’m starting to sound like the late Gary Halbert, copywriter extraordinaire. Hmm, maybe it’s a Gary thing. (It’s odd, most Gary’s I know do swear a bit – but only one R Gary’s. Mr Parkes does not swear. But he’s a two R Garry. I do admire that in you Garry. Maybe I need to take a leaf out of your book on that Parkesy – LOL!) Sidetracked again…
Just be YOURSELF!
Having said that, you can always follow the METHODS of a mentor or mentors. That is actually a SMART thing to do. Just stay away from copying the personal mannerisms – especially if that person has unique or quirky traits but even more especially if the things you are copying hold no interest for you or, even worse, go against what you stand for or believe in. In other words, don’t be an obvious copy-cat. Be TRUE to yourself!
I once knew a Premier of the State of Western Australia who had a penchant for the “F” word. Guess what? Almost every person in his office used that word liberally, even the women. I found that incredibly crass. Watching and hearing otherwise lovely women say things like: “Get effen John on the effen phone and find out what he’s effen doing with that effen report I need.” That disgusted me (And yes – “darn it” – I swear!). It was so incredibly FALSE! I wonder if they really knew how pathetic they all sounded. All because their illustrious leader, the number one ticket-holder in the State, swore like a trooper. Unnatural. Unnecessary. False. Ridiculous. Pathetic.
Copying the exact traits of others will lead to the destruction of your own uniqueness and will therefore lead to your demise as a person worthy of taking notice of. You have to be known for being YOU, not a clone of somebody you admire, adore, look up to, wanna be like or whatever.
There is only ONE you. And, fortunately, there is only one me.
Just be yourself!
PS: Whenever I see this sort of behavior employed I automatically think of one word – suckhole. Sorry, I know that kinda detracted from my message but I HAD to say it. That’s one of my faults – I say things I shouldn’t. It’s got me into a LOT of trouble in the past and it will undoubtedly get me into strife in the future. Anyway, don’t be a suckhole. (yeah, yeah, yeah… I know… I said it again… BAD me.)
September 21st, 2009 at 11:49 am
Hey Gary,
What’s up man, I haven’t spoken to you in a while. Sorry for that but I’ve been having some major health issues that have knocked me on my ass for almost 3 months now. It makes it kind of hard to concentrate.
Now to your post.
I beg to differ with you. I didn’t find this post even a little bit boring as you say in the beginning. I find it very interesting as I do all of your posts.
You’ve got that right, I’m certainly unique. At least that’s what my wife says. Actually what she says is “I’ve never met anyone else quite like you”. I’m not quite sure how to take that. lol!
I especially like your point about people copying their bosses laugh. I have run into that soooo many times. I guess they don’t realize how stupid and how obvious it looks.
On your final note about the “F” word. Hey don’t get me wrong, I can swear with the best of them especially when I’m out with my beer guzzling friends. It’s just a bunch of dumb guys having some fun and we’re not hurting anyone. But there’s a time and a place for it and definitely not at work or at home.
You will never hear me swear when there are women or children around.
Something I wish others would do. You wonder why our kids grow up with such garbage mouths.
Back in the old days,(you remember those Gary don’t you) my mother used to wash out my mouth with soap when I would come out with some colorful language. God if parents tried that now the kids would sue them.
Hey gotta run and nice talking to you.
Later,
Jeff Sargent
September 21st, 2009 at 12:43 pm
Hi Jeff – sorry to hear you have been ill. Hope it is nothing too serious – though 3 months… it kinda sounds serious.
One of the greatest sales jobs of all time is proposing to somebody in marriage – it is selling yourself in the biggest test of all time. Some people even get to do it 2, 3 or 4 times or more… LOL!
I agree with you Jeff. Foul language is rampant these days. It is so commonplace. It’s in almost every non-Disney movie, all over the TV, everywhere. I swear. Most people do. But I watch what I say depending upon the company.
Really, those who swear excessively do so because they are slow thinkers with pretty low level vocabularies. Hmm… I think I have just sold myself on the fact that I shouldn’t swear so much (Note to self: – every time you swear for no good reason Gary, you are displaying your lack of control or limited vocabulary).
Yes I do remember the soap in the mouth punishment. I think I copped that once.
Take care of that health Jeff and thanks for stopping by.
Gary
September 22nd, 2009 at 11:01 am
Here I am!
Yes, it’s the one and only PMW.
Er, those of you that had the distinct pleasure *cough* of meeting me in Las Vegas can probably vouch that there isn’t really anyone else like me, and I am my own random person with my own random rules & behaviour. In the words of Chesney Hawkes – “I am the one and only”.
When I was at school, you could tell which clique certain girls belonged to by the length of regrowth on their hair where they would all have dyed it blonde together one weekend and then had the roots showing a few weeks later. Or when you see groups of teenagers out in town together now – all wearing the same uniform of whatever fashion statement they’ve deemed to be suitable.
Anyway – dude, bro, homey, KKKKKKK, (sorry, couldn’t resist!)…
…ok, I’ll behave now, just had to slip into dude-speak for a moment.
People are scared of being an individual. People want to be safe, and believe that there is safety in numbers. I have no interest in turning myself into someone else just to make myself more appealing. More appealing to whom, one wonders? I am of course happy to learn from successful people and take on some of their traits, but only those behaviours that lead to success (e.g. time management skills, writing expertise etc). Not “oh, look, this is how they look and dress, now I have to do the same”.
A lot of this starts off in school and at home though, schools are always trying to make everyone the same for fear of being sued for discrimination in some form. We aren’t all the same. We aren’t all academic or good at particular subjects. We don’t all behave the same way or respond the same way to rewards / punishment.
Hang on, I appear to have discovered my soapbox. In all fairness it’s been a while.
People have their own expectations and opinions on how others should behave. Before Mr Kern, would anyone have thought that someone with the laid back attitude that he portrays could have been a successful internet marketer? Yet now, as TGM has mentioned above, he’s surrounded by people all trying to also copy his mannerisms and thereby attempting to ingratiate themselves with him.
If people start coming up to me, going on endlessly about tea drinking, witches, bags & shoes & sparkly things….er, actually, I’d probably get on very well with them. No, hang on, I’m trying to make a serious point.
My friends are my friends because they accept me for all my insanity and madness, and leave me to it. Not because they try to be like me. I can’t stand it when people try to copy things I’m either doing or saying or that sort of thing. I appreciate my friends because they are different to me, and that’s what makes life interesting.
We’re all trying to carve out our own niche / space / area / dominion in this world, and it’s the person behind it all that carries it. People buy into other people, and if you’re being false to yourself by pretending to be someone that you aren’t then you are destined for failure or a life of misery constantly trying to be something you aren’t. A little harsh maybe? That’s just one of my fabulous traits – when I was 13 someone said to me that I was “as subtle as a flying brick”. Now, some people would be devastated by that. I loved it, and have taken that on ever since!
On that note, it’s time to leave my soapbox to go and get a cup of tea…
PMW
September 22nd, 2009 at 11:13 am
Nix – You go girl! It’s about time you slammed a good rant down and got it off your chests!
Well said! Bravo.
Gary
September 22nd, 2009 at 11:26 am
You nailed it there Gary. I have no idea who most of that list of folks are so I guess I am good to go. I am not that good an actress to be anyone but me, even in the face of a possible stalker! Not sure I have ever been stalked to tell you the truth. Anyway, the uniqueness of each tweeter who tweets is why I am so in love with this media. You donlt get this from other types that are more static. You get to see what people are pasionate about, what they care about and how they interact with people who reach out to them. Good stuff Maynard!
September 22nd, 2009 at 11:36 am
Thankks for having your say Kath!
I appreciate you taking the time to come here and state your point.
Those folks are all pretty high profile Internet Marketing people BTW.
Maynard? Not… Maynard G Krebbs! LOL!
Gary
September 23rd, 2009 at 3:18 am
Great article, and great advice.
In the workplace, it is so easy to lose yourself in the desire to be “liked” by your superiors as you try to climb that corporate ladder, r in today’s market, just to stay employed.
But if everyone is copying the boss… you’ll likely be better served and make more of an impact if you be yourself. If you don’t stand out, and you are “just like everyone else” you are expendable.
Be yourself. After all, you are unique – just like everyone else.
September 23rd, 2009 at 4:13 pm
Gazzman,
The universe is at work for me. Looky here… I come to your sight because I was referring your sight to a PPL network marketer on facebook and I wanted to cut and paste your link for accuracy and you’ve nailed my thoughts precisely.
I got off the internet for a while for two reasons. Number one… I was trying to be something I’m not. For all the tools you and Linda laid before, I just couldn’t make myself do (sell or promote)any of that cr*p. I tried to write some articles, but it felt like brown slime coming off my tongue and onto my paper. There’s nothing better than being true and creative. I was miserable trying to find my way.
Number two…Summer hit and the kids were out of school. I just don’t want to work during the summer. So the break from the internet was very much needed.
But, I to say… I found my niche. I ‘ll need to contact you via email. I might be able to compliment your efforts here.
Hey…I can’t say thank you enough for ALWAYS being that straight forward guy full of integrity and *#%@
I missed all of you guys…
Renee Olson
September 24th, 2009 at 6:32 am
Bob/Lee (LOL) – Yep! Which sheep always stands out? The “black” sheep.
Gary
September 24th, 2009 at 7:28 am
Hi Renee – Sorry but you got caught up in my dashboard. When I looked and I saw your name I approved your comment immediately.
Do you know something? I was thinking about you just the other day – you and Lesley Morgan and Valerie Davies. I was wondering where you all went to.
Renee, IM(NS)HO it is a LOT easier to be yourself than it is to copy somebody else. That is just false anyway. It takes so much energy to do that… wasted energy.
People want originality. I mean, look at Arnold Schwarzenegger – born into poverty in Austria, goes to the US as a bodybuilder, gets into movies and now he is the Governator.
[Er SIDE BAR: Last time I looked his gubernatorial presence was following http://www.twitter.com/TheGazzMan on the big T. Well, either that or a damn good impersonation of him - LOL!]
Anyway, listening to him speak you’d think he would be a failure in the US but NOT so. He is HUGE (literally)! People like different. And he’s about as unique and different as it gets.
Renee, you email me any time you want darls. TGM is always here for you.
Oh, and BTW, that was so lovely what you said in your penultimate paragraph. I like to hear that. It balances out a lot of the mean spirited crap I get in DM’s by haters on Twitter. I seriously dunno why people send that stuff. I get a couple every week (just to keep me on my toes) and it so often makes me shake my head in dismay at the sad lives they must be leading.
Thanks for the visit Renee!
Gary
September 24th, 2009 at 1:44 pm
King Louie from The Jungle Book –
Oooooooo
I wanna be just like you
I wanna walk like you
Talk like you
It’s truuuuuuuuuuuue…
The baddest version of that tune by Big Bad Voodoo Daddy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-ehBCxThho&feature=related
Ya can’t sit still. Check it out…
(I really wish I wasn’t so normal)….
Denis
September 24th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
D-Man,
I do love it when I see you on the runway, warming your jets. I always know what to expect and you NEVER disappoint.
I watched the video. Never heard of that band before but I was boppin’ along. [Not up to the standard of Slade - but then who is? LOL!]
I think those lyrics kinda say it all.
Thanks again.
Gary
PS: When is that darn PORTAL open for business again and where-oh-where is that much vaunted e-book. I SO wanna read that!
September 25th, 2009 at 2:34 am
Hi Gary:
I’ve got to think of something kind of witty because I know you’ll have a great comeback that I’ll want to read. I’m a hard person to get to crack a smile, but you did it with your jet and runway comment. Ha, still smiling…
So many tech issues to get resolved with all this crap. Man…
So I come here for a little break and lighthearted fun.
I’m working on the PORTAL and the e-book at the same time. Aaaaahhhhh
I wrote the e-book as a Word doc. and then popped it into eWriter. But all the formatting was changed, including the look of many pictures, and after spending two days reformatting, it wouldn’t and couldn’t save it – All was lost.
I have 2 Gigs of RAM and I got an error message not enough memory? Yea… So that project is stalled. I can’t format it.
I have a flash movie clip going on the PORTAL. Things are wild with that too. To get just the right mix of what I want is difficult.
I’m telling you all this because I know you must have been in those same situations before as well, and you understand.
Two steps forward and one step back.
So that’s why I’m not really pushing the PORTAL yet. When the e-book is ready and the PORTAL as well, then I’ll be ready for visitors. I’m not very involved with Twitter, Facebook or forums yet, because if someone comes back to my blog, there’s nothing going on.
I did download your Twitter Muscle though, for some light enjoyable reading. I’ve got to start a whole new learning curve…Straight up, up and away!
Denis
September 25th, 2009 at 3:49 am
Denis – it’s actually difficult to be funny when you’re TRYING to be funny. That’s what I find anyway. It’s better when things just kinda slip out, so to speak. Most often I just get these images in my mind and I turn them into words. And I just saw you that day as a jet sitting on the tarmac winding its engines up to full throttle before take off. See the image? Hear the sound? I can.
You really are a jumbo jet full of fun for me coz I just love to exchange witticisms. A lot of people don’t get it and, well… lots don’t give a rat’s ar*e about having fun. I think that’s half my problem – I don’t take anything seriously enough. I just like to have fun, I guess. Er, sometimes at other people’s expense… unfortunately – but not in a mean sort of way. It’s just that some people don’t see the humor.
You should see some of the aggro DM’s I get on Twitter sometimes because some foolish people take a GENERAL comment personally. Half the time I have NO IDEA why they take offense at such innocuous things and turn them into a bonfire of insult. It’s so unnecessary, not to mention STUPID. Like, WHERE have people’s senses of humor disappeared to? What is so wrong in their lives that they jump to offense so easily? Anyway…
YOU DIDN’T! Tell me you did NOT lose all that work! Surely it must still be saved in Word. Somewhere!
Oh, I have lost things in the past and you know what Denis… whenever I want to re-construct something I have lost it is NEVER as good as my first attempt. So, I HATE losing anything and therefore I try to save as often as possible. I feel for you if you have lost something that damn precious.
Denis, I’m gonna let you in on a little secret – actually it won’t be a secret at all after I BLAB here but…
… Thom Swartwood interviewed me for my MAGIC Art of Copywriting book. I listened to the proof and OMG I was laughing at myself so much. It is rather humorous in places. I think you will find it very funny because we have similar senses of humor – I just hope other people do too! LOL! It was meant to be serious but somehow ended up being… well, I’ll ask Thom if you can listen to it and see what you think.
Get back into cruise control my friend. I am REALLY looking forward to reading that book of yours coz the CONTENTS page looks very interesting indeed.
Thanks for coming over. Let us all know when we can visit the PORTAL.
Gary
September 25th, 2009 at 11:42 am
Oh Crikey Moses (is that right? LOL) Gary, no I didn’t lose the original work. I lost the all the work that I was reformatting to put from the Word mess into a PDF format. Oh, if I had lost the original, my ear splitting scream from New York would have awoken you out of a sound sleep Down Under.
I still have the original in Word. Plus I have online back up every night. I just need to figure out if my problem is bad memory or the program itself.
Say, you write about three or four e-books a day – Do you have a favorite PDF formatting program? Are there any better ones out there than eWriter pro, or Easy PDF Maker?
Just trying to get a handle on things…
Thanks,
Denis
September 25th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
ssssshhhhh…Only for you…
A sneak beta PORTAL peek:
http://deniscaronportal(dot)com/from-the-portal/
Denis
You mean Ewen Chia or Shawn Casey don’t do these kinds of things?
An epiphany, a revelation…This can only mean that – egad – I must not be nnormall…
September 25th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
Sorry to be hijacking your thread.
But I intentionally wrote the link in the above post with the word “dot” in parenthesis, so it wouldn’t be held up in moderation (I thought that URLs get held up?). It still came out as a broken link hyperlink anyway…weird.
Edit all this crap as you see fit.
Thanks,
Denis
September 27th, 2009 at 5:43 am
Hey Gary,
Great advice in this post. I think that is where so many people go wrong when they are building their online business up. They follow the advice of a mentor (good thing to do), then they try and BE like the mentor themselves (wrong thing to do).
People will be attracted to the things you do by being yourself, not by trying to impersonate somebody else, that’s how you build up your following and your brand.
Good tips as always Gary.
Cheers,
Paul
September 27th, 2009 at 7:25 am
Crikey Moses Denis you’re starting to sound a LOT LIKE ME! (LOL).
Just got a visual on that scream from NY. Glad I didn’t get an aural.
Yeah, that’s correct – 3 or 4 on an off day. A dozen or more when I’m really on my game…
I use PDF Suite. I just plonk the word doc in it and press the button and out pops a pdf doc. Sometimes it misfires and puts pages out of justification so I just re-do it and generally all is good.
No need to edit anything. I’m gonna teleport to the PORTAL when I finish up here.
@ Paul – what you said here pretty much encapsulated it all – why didn’t I just say that? Oh, I know, why say something in 24 words like you did when I can take 1,024! LOL!
Thanks guys.
Gary
PS: Denis the words jet, jumbo, flying and all derivatives thereof and pertaining to such a notion shouldn’t be used in conjunction with the word “hijack.” If you get my drift.
September 27th, 2009 at 7:37 am
@ Denis – WHOA! I just visited the PORTAL and that thing you have there had my head spinning. I thought I was visiting the Time Tunnel or Lost in Space or something. I think I saw Tee’Ulc there too – you know the bald dude with the shiny gold emblem on his forehead carrying that spear with a tulip on the end of it.
Very eye-catching dude! Great thematics. Well done. I see big things happening there. Lots of “booty.” Like Beyonce. LOL!
Gary
September 29th, 2009 at 11:40 pm
Gary
Never has a truer and simpler post been made. In this age of ‘cookie cutter’, ‘copy and profit’, ‘blueprints’ and ‘templates’ systems it is all too easy to become lazy and follow the crowd with the work seemingly done for you.
Yet these rarely succeed in the medium to long term (and if so more probably by luck than judgement) as how do you maintain a competitive edge if your work is the same as hundreds of others out there?
It is so frustrating when you get about 10 e-mails on a launch day which are all identical with absolutely zero changes to the provided affiliate swipe copy, and it shows through that this is just another sales pitch not a carefully considered recommendation which may actually be beneficial.
There is a lot to be said about standing out from the crowd, for the right reasons of course!, as that can be the difference in building true relationships and trust. As the internet develops and in the example of Web2.0 we have seen a lot more interaction and networking and therefore having your own brand and personality becomes even more paramount in order to succeed.
Even if you do ruffle a few feathers along the way at least you are being true to yourself.
Speak soon
Tom
November 15th, 2009 at 11:53 pm
Gary-
I have been coming by the Temple to learn a thing or two. Also, wanted to know I appreciate the fact that you take an interest in helping newcomers to IM.
I hope we can meet in the flesh someday soon.
November 17th, 2009 at 1:48 am
@ Tom – Thanks for the comment mate. I don’t know how it happened but somehow I missed it. So, I apologize for that.
The MOST important thing IMHO is to be honest and sincere. Like you mentioned people are acutely aware of lazy cookie-cutter stuff. It irritates the heck out of me too. MOST people on the Internet simply copy others. That is NOT forging a unique “followable” (is that even a word? LOL!) identity. So, who wants to follow a zombie with NO originality? There is NO reason. That is setting up for failure right from the start.
Yes, being true to yourself is the first identifier towards being original.
@ Evan – The TEMPLE mate, the TEMPLE. All caps! LOL!. Actually, I created that name as a bit of a joke and it somehow stuck. Now, everyone seems to know this place. Actually, it is rather popular. Just saw my latest Alexa Ranking – 125,500. Pretty cool huh?
Evan, I really ENJOY meeting the people I interact with over the net. Most of them are GREAT people. Last time in Las Vegas, at the marketing seminars, we all had such a brilliant time. We learned a lot and all those people are my friends now. I just wish I could do MORE to help people but I am only one person. That is why I hang out a lot here and also over on the Alex Jeffreys forum – it’s the best use of my time where I can do the most for as many people as I can.
Thanks for coming here guys.
Gary